It’s been absolutely wonderful.”
“Of course, Mia’s going to be looking at all kinds of opportunities,” her father cut in. “She’s got a bright future ahead of her. We’re all excited to see what that mind of hers comes up with next. Right now she’s looking for a research postdoc, and I like to think one of our East Coast schools will snap her up. But I’m sure there will also be plenty of opportunities for seminar talks, guest lecture series, colloquia…”
The more her father described the future he envisioned for her, the more Mia realized it wasn’t what she wanted for herself.
She’d always assumed she needed to be at some big, impressive university to prove her worth, but now she knew she could be perfectly happy at a smaller, less renowned school and still feel good about herself. A school where there was more emphasis on teaching and less institutional pressure to “publish or perish.” And she’d already proven she could do research just as well there as at any tier one school.
Despite thinking of herself as an inveterate city girl, she’d loved living in a small town. She didn’t miss trendy restaurants or shopping malls or freeways. She’d gotten comfortable around livestock, learned to appreciate the utility of cowboy boots and hats, and developed a soft spot for country music.
Did she really want to start over in a new place at a new job and have to make new friends? Why? When she already had friends and a job she liked in a place she loved. A place where she was wanted. Where she fit in. Where she’d been accepted and welcomed when no one else would have her.
Why would she want to leave all that? For what? Prestige? Money? Acclaim?
That was the stuff her dad cared about. It wasn’t what would make Mia happy. Not as much as being somewhere she felt like she was making a difference in her students’ lives. A place where she was part of a community, not just of academics, but of people. Students. Neighbors. Friends. That was what she longed for. To be someplace that felt as much like home as Crowder did.
Mia let her father take the lead for the rest of the interview, because she realized she didn’t care anymore. Let him have this moment of reflected glory, because it would be his last. The interviewer wrapped things up soon after and asked if they’d mind posing for a few photos to accompany the article.
“What was that?” her father hissed, positioning his arm around her shoulders as they stood in front of his fireplace. “All that stuff about teaching high school kids and constructing knowledge?”
“The truth,” Mia said with her first genuine smile of the day.
That evening, she accosted her sister as soon as she got home from work.
“I want to run something by you,” Mia said, handing Holly a glass of wine. “I need you to tell me if you think it’s nuts.”
“Walk with me.” Holly gulped down a mouthful of wine as she headed for her bedroom. “I have to take this bra off.”
Mia sat down on Holly’s bed, cradling her own glass of wine while Holly disappeared into the closet to change clothes. “You know all that stuff Dad wants to do for me to help my career?”
Holly leaned her head out of the closet long enough to roll her eyes. “Yes.”
“What if I didn’t do any of it?”
Holly reemerged in a pair of black leggings, pulling a faded NYU hoodie over her head. “Good for you?” Her brows drew together as she picked up her wine again. “Isn’t that basically what I’ve been saying all along? That you shouldn’t let Dad pull your strings.”
“There’s a tenure-track job opening up in my department at Bowman and…I think I’m going to apply for it.”
Holly’s eyes widened, and she sank down on the bed opposite Mia. “What about finding a postdoc? What about your twenty-year plan?”
“Maybe I don’t care about the twenty-year plan anymore. Maybe it’s a bad plan.” Mia stared at her sister’s Hamilton poster as she took a swig of wine. “Maybe I’m happy where I am.”
“Are you?”
“Maybe? I think so. Is that nuts?” Mia looked at Holly, terrified she was going to say yes.
“I mean…shit.” Holly chewed her bottom lip as she studied her through the heavy, long lashes Mia had always envied. “Are you doing this because of Josh? So you can stay with him?”
Mia had been asking herself that exact same question all day.
Did