in the eye as she spoke, slowly and decisively. “I think it’s better if we don’t see each other anymore.” An iron band tightened around her chest as the words hung in the air.
Josh didn’t react, but whether it was shock or indecision that froze him in place, she couldn’t tell. She’d never been able to read him, she realized now. He was too good at hiding. As good as she was.
For a long moment they stared at each other while the strained silence swirled around them. Then his shoulders sagged, his jaw clenching as a look of resignation crossed his face. His head jerked in a nod. “I think you’re right.”
Without another word he turned and strode out of the apartment. The door slammed so hard behind him it rattled the windows.
Mia’s legs gave out and she sank to the couch again. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she listened to his footfalls move down the stairs. The slam of his car door and the engine roaring to life. The crunch of gravel as he backed out of the driveway.
In the silence that fell when he was finally gone, she broke down and cried.
Two hours later, long after Mia had finished crying and gotten into bed, her phone rang. She’d been staring at the ceiling trying to will herself to sleep, even though she knew there was no point. Insomnia would be her only company tonight.
Rolling over, she reached for her phone, and her stomach turned over.
It was Josh.
Panic bubbled up inside her as she fumbled to answer. Was he okay? He’d been so upset when he left. So unlike himself. Had he done something foolish in his heightened state? What if he was hurt?
“Josh?” Her voice sounded thick and woolly after all the crying she’d done earlier.
There was a pause, long enough for her panic to ramp up a few more notches before he said, very quietly, “I wasn’t sure you’d pick up.”
“Are you okay?”
He made a sound that could have been a laugh but sounded more like he was breaking apart. “No, not really. I—” He cut himself off, and she heard him suck in a shaky breath. When he spoke again, he sounded steadier. “I should have believed you.”
A ragged gasp of relief tore its way out of her throat as fresh tears stung her eyes.
“Are you crying?” His voice was so gentle it brought even more tears.
She sniffled and rubbed her eyes. “A little.”
“Shit.”
Mia sagged back against the bed and closed her eyes. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. I freaked out on you, and you didn’t deserve that.”
“Josh, I swear I wasn’t talking about you when I said those things. I would never say anything like that about you, because that’s not how I feel about you. I don’t think you’re stupid. I hope you know that.”
“I do. I believe you.”
He sounded like he meant it, and it lifted some of the weight that had been sitting on her chest. But she had more to atone for. “I’m sorry I didn’t defend you when my dad said those awful things. I didn’t agree with him. I was just trying not to make a scene.”
At the time, she’d thought she was doing it for Josh, but in hindsight she realized it had been as much for her. She’d been a coward. Afraid of conflict. Willing to swallow the hurt to avoid a fight, and expecting Josh to do the same.
“I know,” he said. “I get it.”
“What about the rest of it? Do you really think I don’t care about you?”
There was the slightest hint of hesitation before he answered. “No, of course not. I overreacted, okay? I heard you saying those things and I just lost it. I couldn’t think straight. It was like I was trapped in some kind of nightmare, like my mind and my body belonged to someone else and I wasn’t in control anymore.” He blew out a nervous breath. “That probably sounds crazy.”
“It’s not crazy.” She rolled over on her side, pulling her knees to her chest. “I understand. I really do.” He’d been hiding his trauma—and hiding from his fears—instead of confronting it. Which meant it had never properly healed.
“Mia, I’m so sorry.” The anguish in his voice tore at her heart. “Please let me come back so we can fix this.”
She knew exactly how that would go. They’d both apologize and fall into each other’s arms and then into her bed. It was exactly what she wanted. Desperately. But