infused oblivion after Roamyn broke my heart. I wanted to forget everything he said, along with his dismissal. I craved it. I fought against it and I won. But as Lindsey’s perfect cherry red lips split into a small reassuring smile, some of the weight on my chest lifts. Because she believes me. I can see it in her eyes as much as I could recognize it in her voice. Warmth blankets my soul. If one good thing came from this ordeal, it’s this. If I’ve regained her faith, her trust, I’ll hold it close and never break it again. After the arrest, after what Roamyn had done and the chance I was going to prison, I slipped up. I went out. I found a guy. We took something we shouldn’t have and I ended up waking into Lindsey’s loft realizing I’d made yet another mistake. But this time it cost me everything I’d fought so hard to regain these past few years. My relationship with Lindsey. Shame stabbed me with every second she drilled her disappointing eyes into me. I couldn’t take it. Not from her, but I deserved no less.
“I’m sorry, Lindsey.”
Her brows gather in as her head angles to the side, long dark hair falling around her waist. “Sorry for what?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t leave with you.” My voice loses power. My arms feel heavy as my past replays in the forefront of my mind. A knot forms in my belly and I watch my big sister wince. Without speaking, without voicing my pain she feels the aftermath of my biggest regret. Not leaving when she begged me to all those years ago.
She sits up strong, looking me in the eyes.
“We all make mistakes. They don’t define who we are but sometimes they can change us. Your mistakes changed you and that’s okay. You need to let it be okay, Ali.”
She squeezes my hand, almost too tight. “You need to so you can move on.”
I nod, trying to ignore the nausea rising fast. “I’m trying. It’s just so hard.” I lean my head in my hands, trying to soothe the throbbing ache in my skull.
“Is the therapy not helping?” Lindsey’s voice takes a concerned turn.
“Yeah, it is, and the good thing is I’m feeling again. But the bad thing is, I’m feeling again. It’s rough.”
Lindsey’s face fills with understanding. She rubs my back and grabs my hand to pull me in for a hug. “We’ll get there, Ali. We’ll get there together.”
My head falls on her shoulder and we sit, staring out into the busy waiting room.
Side by side.
Hand in hand.
My mind clears and my heart lightens. I should have gone to Lindsey after the very first time Giuseppe punished me. But she’s right. What’s happened is in the past, and I can’t move forward if I can’t accept them for what they are—mistakes. Even if they are of epic proportions.
“Alison Jenkins.”
I twist my head toward the sound of my name and meet the warm smile of a middle-aged female doctor with paperwork in her hand and a stethoscope around her neck.
“This way please.”
She leads us past the nurses’ desk and down the hall into an examination room. Shutting the door behind us, she gets straight to it.
“Alison your test results have come back positive for Rohypnol. A common drug used for date rape.” Her voice fades and relief sweeps me from my feet back into the chair behind me. I can still hear her talking to Lindsey but my mind’s blocked out everything else. My innocence has been proven. But the need to run to Roamyn shouting it from the rooftops doesn’t bombard me and see me to my feet, or have me pulling out my phone to call him. I’ve had over twenty-four hours of nothing but time to conquer the pain of heartbreak completely sober. To think over every word said, scrutinize every moment for what I could have done differently to make him say yes or make him believe me when I was hurling myself at him. But that’s the thing about love. You can’t control it anymore than you can control the person you’re in love with. I’d said everything I could. Done everything possible. Roamyn had seen me at my darkest, witnessed my highest of highs and my lowest of lows, I could never have expected him to believe I hadn’t taken any drugs. In that moment outside the bar, he’d lost confidence in me and I couldn’t blame him for