I was outnumbered by a bunch of backwoods fucks who left me to die in the middle of nowhere. I feel like a fraud every goddamn time someone assumes the best of me, but it turns out that it was because I was weak. So, if you wanna talk about not feeling worthy…”
“Don’t,” Jude said, and this time, when he reached for Kicks, he held on tight. His hands were a little cooler now, but they curled around the side of Kicks’ neck where his pulse began to race.
He leaned in, unable to help himself. A line he told himself never to cross had been obliterated, and not even God Himself could stop him now. He curled his fingers around Jude’s wrists, and he leaned in so their lips were inches apart. “I am who I am. I’m a fucked-up man trying to keep his shit together—a man terrified of letting strangers close to me because I’ve been burned—literally—and I barely made it through the first time. And you’re the man who saved my life with no goddamn reason to do it…”
Jude let out a soft, watery laugh, and his hands tightened on Kicks. “I had at least a dozen.”
Kicks swallowed, then breathed out through his nose. “Just give me one.”
“This,” Jude said, pressing one hand over Kicks’ beating heart without missing a beat. “From the moment we got on your bloody bike and started on the road here, I knew once wasn’t going to be enough. You were so bloody good—and so ready to just let me take you—to trust me to take you where you needed to go.”
At the words—the praise—Kicks felt like he was on the verge of leaving his body. His eye misted over, his throat went tight, his cock painfully hard against the zipper of his jeans. He worked his jaw, desperate to say anything, but no words would come.
“I wanted to be able to touch you again. I wanted…” Jude’s voice cracked a little, and he paused to catch his breath. “I wanted you to want this again.”
Kicks let out a growl, moving his hands down to Jude’s waist. It was awkward with them sitting. The little breakfast nook was too small to do what he really wanted—to pull Jude onto his lap, to pull his dick out and stroke him until he begged to come. He wanted to let Jude push him down onto the table and punish him after that, for making him wait this long.
But he held on to his composure, baring his teeth. “I have wanted you from the second I saw you.”
“That can’t be true,” Jude breathed out.
Kicks kissed him. He couldn’t help it—couldn’t stop himself. He dragged one hand up, wrapping it around the back of Jude’s neck, and dug his fingers into his curls to hold him there. His other hand moved to Jude’s face, thumb urging his mouth to open, and he slid his tongue inside the moment the other man’s lips parted.
He tasted like sugar and tea and something so profoundly him, it made Kicks’ head spin. It made his stomach clench and his dick throb with need. He wasn’t sure how far he was willing to go—especially knowing he was damn-near addicted to this man, but he also knew he wasn’t strong enough to stop.
“Emilio,” Jude groaned against his lips.
He squeezed his eyes shut until his sighted one was filled with starbursts. “Yeah.”
“Stop me,” Jude begged as his hand crept up toward the front of Kicks’ throat.
Kicks tipped his head to the side and bared himself to that man. “No.”
Jude let out a ragged moan, shifting as close as he could manage, his fingers tightening against Kicks’ skin. “If you don’t…” Jude broke off with a growl, his hand leaving the side of Kicks’ ribs, moving down to cup his groin where his cock was straining against his zipper. His other hand tightened on Kicks’ throat just enough to make him really feel it. “If you don’t stop me now, I’m going to take everything I couldn’t when we were back at that house.”
“Shit. Shit.” The tattered last thread of his control snapped, and he grabbed Jude by the hips, yanking him forward. It was awkward with the knee brace, but the chair was small, and it allowed Jude’s hips to spread wide enough to straddle Kicks’ lap. He gripped his ass with one hand, urging him to rock forward, feeling the evidence of Jude’s need against his lower stomach. “I want you to.