all. But I also haven’t fucked a lot of people. I don’t…” There was something tight in his voice, and he let out a breath that almost sounded shaky. “Tell me what happened with the jock.”
Jude heard the deflection for what it was, and he cared enough about Emilio to let him have the out. “He kissed me, and so many things made sense. It was like someone turned on the sun for a moment. His hands were rough, and his mouth tasted disgusting, but he was tender in a way I wasn’t expecting him to be. And I realized in that moment, Eliah’s life wasn’t going to be shit for this reason. And neither was mine.”
“And when you decided to become a rabbi—that didn’t matter?”
“No, because that wasn’t the kind of rabbi I wanted to be,” Jude told him, and in spite of questioning himself on everything, that part held fast. “God made sense to me because I knew in my heart we weren’t meant to suffer for love. Not like that.” He paused, then snorted a laugh. “Not that I loved that bloke. He was such a terrible little shit, but he was important to me.”
“I get it,” Emilio said. There was a pause, then he asked, “Is your stalker still there?”
Jude glanced over, and his heart gave a sudden crash against his chest. “No.”
“Do you hear my bike?”
And he realized he could. “Yeah, I do. Where are you?”
“I just drove by, and I’m flipping a bitch right now. Can you head back up to the parking lot?”
It took him longer than he wanted to think about, but when Jude walked up the ramp and stepped onto the pavement, the only person there was Emilio. He looked like a leather-clad messiah straddling his bike, the sun glinting off his dark shades. He looked like a man who could wield a holy weapon and free people from fear and captivity.
His heart thumped again as he slipped his phone into his pocket and began the slow trek, closing the distance between them. Emilio had his bike turned off and the kickstand down just as Jude reached his side.
“You’re moving easier,” he said.
Jude scoffed. “It’s a process.” He glanced around him, half-convinced that the stranger was lying in wait, but he could feel the absence of him. “What now?”
“I didn’t get a good look at the fucker—only the bike he was on,” Emilio said with a grimace. “But that little display says they’re getting bold enough to make a move.”
Jude winced. “Bloody hell.”
“Sounds about right.” Emilio rubbed his hand through his hair, then shrugged. “You better get packing.”
Jude’s eyes went wide. “I’m sorry? You want me to leave?”
“Well, you can’t stay here,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Taking a step back, Jude shook his head. “The hell I can’t. I’m not packing up again.”
Emilio pulled his glasses down and his eyes narrowed. “You really wanna push me, rabbi? You got two choices here, and you know what they are.”
Jude’s stomach twisted because he knew that was true—and he was already bound and determined not to flee the country and leave Eliah here in this mess on his own. “When you take this man down,” he said, stepping closer so he could lower his voice, “who takes his place?”
Emilio stared for a long moment, then shrugged. “Who the fuck knows. Could be anyone—could be no one. This ain’t like TV, babe, but it ain’t the easiest life either. We had a good stretch of time where no one gave a flying fuck who were or what we were doing.”
“Except that isn’t entirely true, is it?” Jude countered. He didn’t know everything, but he knew enough. “This all started because people couldn’t let go of the past.”
After a beat, Emilio let out a long, slow sigh and shrugged. “It is what it is. And you’re wrapped up in this shit, whether or you like it or not. But you gotta make a choice, sweetheart, because I ain’t always gonna be close enough to save your ass.”
Jude had never been in the position to need a protector before. It triggered something primal in him, visceral—the need to take control. The need to pin Emilio by his throat and show him he was capable. And it was so bloody absurd he almost started laughing. Standing there on the street with a busted knee, half-shaking because a man sitting on a wall had terrified him out of his wits.
If the