that it began to feel as though I would never really have it. But now, sitting here on our actual “date” and listening to DeShawn tell me how much he was embracing this unexpected event and committing to be there for our child and for me—I just couldn’t keep it inside any longer. I looked into his beautiful face with all the emotion that I had kept locked away for years, and I finally—finally told him the truth.
“I have loved you for a long time,” I said in a voice that was little more than a desperate whisper.
He looked back at me with a massive smile that spread across his face. “I love you, too, Clara. I always have.”
There was something different about our kiss this time, as his lips pressed against mine and his tongue pushed its way slowly into my mouth. This time, we both knew that we loved each other. Even if we had always known inside somewhere, or at least had a hint about it. This time, we had said the words. This time, the kiss meant something different. It wasn’t just a hot, lustful show of our need for each other—it was love. When we pulled away slowly, it was obvious that neither of us wanted to. We didn’t want the night to end.
We finished up, DeShawn paid the bill, and then we got up to leave. He took my hand as we walked out of the restaurant and back toward his black Audi that was parked in the lot. He opened my door for me and stood there with his body pressed gently up against mine before I got into the car.
“Come back to my hotel room with me,” he said. “Stay with me for the night. I don’t want to let you go yet, and I don’t want to share you with anything else—not until the morning comes.”
I smiled and pulled his face toward me as I kissed him. Then I nodded before getting into the car. On the drive to the hotel, I called Scott to let him know that I wouldn’t be home until morning; instead of a lecture, he told me to enjoy myself and that he would see us both over a cup of hot coffee when DeShawn and I got back to the farm the next day.
When we got to the hotel, I was again floored by how classy everything was, even though DeShawn played it off as if it was nothing.
I walked into the room and took off my shoes. The bed looked so comfortable, like a giant white cloud formed into the shape of a mattress. I walked over to the wall-sized window and looked out. Amarillo definitely wasn’t a city, and there were more trees in the view than there were buildings. However, the room was on a high floor, and there was enough light outside to see a distance away.
“This is beautiful,” I said. I felt like I was standing in a tall tower in the sky, overlooking a kingdom.
“It’s not nearly as beautiful as you are,” DeShawn said as he came and stood behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and clasped his hands against the front of my stomach as he kissed the back of my neck.
“You know,” I joked. “You might not be able to do that pretty soon.”
“What, kiss you?” he asked.
“No,” I laughed as I turned around in his arms. “Wrap your arms around my waist. What are you going to think of me when I balloon out like a whale?”
He moved his hands from my waist to my face and held the sides of my cheeks while he stared into my eyes. “When are you going to understand that to me, you are the most beautiful thing in the whole entire world? I can’t wait to watch your body swell with our child. That will be the most miraculous and most beautiful thing that I will ever be able to see in my lifetime.”
He shook his head before bringing my face to his and kissing me gently on the lips.
“You know,” he said. “It might take me every day for the rest of forever to show you how incredible and how beautiful you truly are. And that’s okay; I have the time.”
I smiled and then reached my arms up over his shoulders and wrapped my hands behind his neck to pull him back to me. His body pressed against mine as I leaned my back up against