lifted her face from her hands and looked up at me, tears were rolling down her cheeks. Her eyes were red and swollen, and her entire face was tear-streaked. It looked like she had been crying for a while. As soon as she saw me, she jumped up to her feet and made a little gasp that sounded like a nervous squeak. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand and looked as if she was going to run away.
“What are you doing here?” she choked out with a cracking and raspy voice from all the crying that she had been doing.
“I came to meet Scott. He told me he’d be home, and we were going to hang out this afternoon for a while. Clara, what happened? What’s wrong?” I could feel the worried look on my face furrow my brow and bend the corners of my mouth down into a frown. I was really worried about her.
“Nothing,” she said quickly as she tried to get past me and run up the stairs.
“Wait, where are you going?” I called after her as I followed her to the staircase.
I was so confused. I had no idea what had happened and even less of an idea of why she was running away from me. I hesitated when I got halfway up the steps, not knowing whether chasing her to her bedroom was going to wind up making matters better or worse. I also didn’t want Scott to come home and see his sister in hysterics and me in her bedroom. That definitely wouldn’t go over big with him, I was sure.
“Clara?” I called from the midpoint of the staircase. “Can you just come down and talk to me and tell me what’s wrong? Please?”
I could hear she was still crying. It was the kind of cry that happens when it’s too late to rein in control of your emotions. Whatever had happened had gotten her really upset.
“Is it about the farm?” I shouted up. “If it’s about the farm, then let’s just talk about it. I’m sure there’s a way that I can help.”
She didn’t answer.
“Are you ill? If you’re still sick, then I can drive you to the doctor. Do you think you need to see a doctor?”
That question seemed to make her cry even more. Scott had told me that she was feeling better, so I really wasn’t sure what was going on.
“Okay, look,” I said as I started to climb the rest of the stairs. “I’m coming up to talk to you. I know you don’t want to talk to me right now, but it’s really obvious that there’s something wrong, and I’m not just going to let you sit in there by yourself and cry.”
“Go away, DeShawn,” she yelled.
“Nope,” I said with conviction. “Sorry, Clara, but I’m not leaving this time until you tell me what’s going on.”
I walked up the stairs and got to her bedroom just in time to stick my foot in the doorway before she could close the door. She looked up at me in shock with both hands on the door, and I held her eyes to mine.
“I’m not leaving,” I said. “Not until I know what’s going on with you.”
19
Clara
He couldn’t be here now. This wasn’t the right time. This was so bad.
I hadn’t meant to break down at the kitchen table, and I knew that Scott would be home soon. But I also knew the sound of Scott’s loud truck coming up the drive, and I knew that I’d have time to run upstairs and clean myself up before I saw him. I had started to make breakfast and even gave myself a solid talking to about how I was going to handle the situation by essentially just ignoring it for the next few days. There wasn’t anything that was going to change within a few days’ time, and I needed to think about things more before I talked to anyone else about it.
What I didn’t expect was for DeShawn to be here right now. His fancy new car was silent when it pulled in, and I hadn’t heard the key turn in the lock. Before I had a chance to get up, it was too late, and he was already standing there watching me cry. I didn’t know what else to do aside from trying to run upstairs and hide. It felt childish, but at the moment, I’d had about enough of adulting. I just wanted to be