I had expected to get some form of scowl or scolding from her brother, I saw instead that he was smiling, too.
Maybe things were actually going to work for once—for all of us. Maybe this unexpected pregnancy was going to be the thing that aligned all of our lives right where they needed to be together. I guess that the only way to see if it was going to work was to start with the date that I had waited more than a decade to have with the most beautiful girl in Amarillo.
23
Clara
I knew that DeShawn had said this wasn’t a high-end date, but it sure felt like one to me. I had never been to such a fancy restaurant before. He promised me that after I wasn’t pregnant anymore, we would go on another fancy date with an expensive bottle of wine since I couldn’t enjoy that part this time. It felt so amazing to be on an actual date with DeShawn. It was something that I had fantasized about for years. I felt every bit spoiled, and it was definitely not a feeling that I was used to.
“Are you comfortable?” he asked as he looked across the table at me.
The waitress had just set a massive plate of ribs down on the table in front of me, and they looked so delicious that I was instantly salivating. I hadn’t eaten much lately with all of the stress, and as soon as the delicious smell of these ribs wafted up into my nose, I found myself beyond starving. I thought it was the best thing that I had ever smelled.
“I could definitely get used to this,” I said with a ravenous smile.
The evening was perfect. DeShawn and I talked about everything and never ran out of things that we wanted to say and topics that we wanted to discuss. It was as if everything that we had wanted to talk to each other about since we were kids, but didn’t, had suddenly bubbled up to the surface and overflowed into an endless string of conversations. We ate until we were both stuffed and then sat and talked for what seemed like hours. I laughed more during that dinner than I had laughed in years. After we had finished eating, DeShawn moved his chair to the other side of the table so that he could sit next to me. I found myself laughing so hard that I was letting my head fall against his shoulder in hysterics. He and I had always had this good connection; it had always felt so natural between us. The only part that hadn’t felt natural all of these years was that we had tried to stay away from each other. Now, everything just felt right.
“So,” he teased. “How about a second date?”
I laughed for a second, thinking about how cute he was. But then I realized that after all of this fun conversation, he and I hadn’t really stopped to talk seriously about the pregnancy.
“This pregnancy is going to keep pressing forward, whether we’re ready for it or not,” I said to him.
DeShawn took my hand and looked into my eyes. There were those little golden, amber specks again that caught the light and made it look as if he were made of magic.
“I’m ready for it,” he said reassuringly. “I’m into this with you, Clara. No matter what it takes. I’m here, for you and for our child, and I’m totally and completely into it a hundred percent.”
He wrapped his arm around the back of my waist and pulled me closer toward his lap until our knees were pressed up against each other.
“This is my child, and you are the beautiful mother of my child. I’m always going to be there for you both, no matter what happens.”
I felt the warmth of his word warm my heart; a feeling swelled inside of me that I just couldn’t keep in any longer. DeShawn had tried so hard over the past several days to tell me how much he cared about me, and I had tried so hard to keep all of my feelings hidden and buried inside. When I finally heard myself say them out loud in my conversation with Scott, it had scared me. It had scared me because it was so real, and I was finally faced with the reality of something that I had forced myself to ignore, something that I had wanted and been in denial of for so long