moments of my life, he lowered me down onto his shaft and pushed into me with a hard, throbbing thrust that made me have to fight to keep in a moan.
He groaned quietly at the initial sensation and clenched his fist against the wall in order to keep from being loud. Then he moved skillfully within my body as he held me. His taut muscles flexed beneath my hands, and together, our bodies undulated in a perfect rhythm that climbed toward ecstasy.
This was the moment that I had been fantasizing about ever since DeShawn had gotten back into town. Right here, in the quiet and still night, he took me against the wall that we had just fixed together, and he tore down the wall that I had been hiding behind. When finally we reached the peak of pleasure, we convulsed in a delightful and simultaneous utopia. Even though I could feel his body shake beneath me, he held me up with his arms wrapped tightly around my lower back and his body pressing mine to the wall. For a moment, after the residual shockwaves ended and I’d been able to catch my breath, I felt myself relax. I leaned against him with my head on his shoulder and my legs still around his waist, and he held me in his arms as if I were something precious. He felt powerful, holding me like that and not letting me go. For the first time, I let myself be held and let someone else be powerful. I let myself relax and feel safe and cared for and at ease. I felt his chin nuzzle against my forehead and heard his labored breathing relax as we both took a moment just to breathe and be in a peaceful revelry together.
But then, just like before, the realization sank in that this needed to end now. As much as I didn’t want to get down from him and have his body pull out from mine, we couldn’t stay here forever. After a while, my brother would realize that we had been gone for too long. Scott would come looking for us. This was not the kind of naked and conjoined position that I wanted him to find DeShawn and me in. Quickly I lifted my head and tried to break away.
I could tell that DeShawn didn’t want to set me down. Who knew, maybe if we had stayed right where we were, there would have even been more lovemaking. Aside from being enormously well-endowed, I had also noticed that DeShawn seemed to swell right back up almost as soon as we had finished. I imagined what it would be like to be able to spend an entire day and night lying naked together somewhere. I imagined that my body would give out long before my desire would.
He lifted me gently and slowly, and his body slid out of mine with a sensation that made me want him desperately more. When he set me down on the ground, he kept his hands around my waist while I got my balance. My knees were unsteady, and my thighs felt like gelatin. I stared at his body in front of me and tried to talk myself out of wanting to take him by the hand, just like this, and march into the farmhouse in front of Scott and tell my brother that his best friend and I were lovers. Of course, that wasn’t something that I was going to do. But my desire to be with DeShawn again, and again, made me feel like doing all sorts of reckless and crazy things.
I was starting to feel the cold air wafting through the stables now that our body heat wasn’t keeping me warm anymore. He handed me my clothes, and I put them on as I watched him slowly do the same. It felt different this time than it had the last time.
Last time, it was solidified in my mind that it would only be a frivolous one-time impulse, not something that would ever happen again. But now that it had happened again, what was to stop it from continuing. This time it felt much more real and much more dangerous. I was afraid that it would turn into something and also afraid that it couldn’t.
“Clara,” DeShawn said after he had his clothes on. He reached for a strand of my hair that was hanging wildly alongside my cheek and tucked it behind my ear. “Please don’t tell