Not even in high school. I wondered if that was because Scott scared them off.
“It just seems like she’s been a little off lately, haven’t you noticed?” I asked.
We walked down a different aisle, and I noticed Scott pick up a package, look at the price tag, and then return it to the shelf. I couldn’t remember ever having to put something back at the store because it was too expensive. I wanted to just tell him to get it and that I would pay for it, but I knew that would just offend him. I needed to come up with a better way to deal with the whole situation than just one package of food at the store.
“She’s always a little off,” Scott chuckled as he brushed my concern aside.
“Look, man,” I said, trying not to get into a fight with him. “You know I love you like a brother, and so I’m going to call you out on shit like a brother would do. That was a real dick thing to say.”
Scott stopped and looked at me in surprise. It looked like he was getting ready to get mad, but then he thought better of it. “Yeah, sorry. I guess that comment was a bit uncalled for. I was just joking, though.”
“I know,” I said, taking that as an apology. “But seriously, what’s going on with her? I can tell that she’s not okay, physically and emotionally. I’m concerned about her well-being. Even just since I’ve been here, things seem to be getting worse for her. She’s stressed and distracted, moody and exhausted, and now today, she is actually physically ill. What’s wrong with her?”
“I don’t really know, to be honest,” Scott said. “But I’m sure it’s nothing. If there were something really wrong, she would have told me.”
“Are you sure about that?” I asked.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Scott sounded defensive. “Is this more of that crap about how girls don’t talk to their brothers? Because Clara and I have always been able to talk to each other about anything. It’s not your job to come in here and try to cozy up to her, DeShawn.”
“I’m not trying to ‘cozy up’ to her,” I said. “I’m just trying to figure out why she’s acting so weird. I’m not trying to step on your toes.”
Scott looked put-off. I didn’t think he was done shopping yet, but he started heading to the check-out counter anyway. “When our parents died, it was a freak accident,” he said. “Not trying to push any buttons or piss you off by saying this, but Clara and I were close to our parents. Losing them was like having the world crash down around us. And trying to wrap our heads around the violent way that they died was even worse.”
I had never actually asked Scott how his parents were killed. I mean, everyone knew that they had died in a tragic and unexpected accident. But nothing more was said about it. I imagined some grotesque run-in with a faulty piece of machinery, and then I had to stop thinking about it because it was so disturbing. I couldn’t even imagine the mental anguish that Scott and Clara had to deal with. I wished that she would talk to me about it. I wanted to help, and I wanted her to let me in.
“When that happened,” Scott continued. “It was my job to look after what was left of our family. It wasn’t like I was ready or had gotten any time or any guidance with it. It just happened. I’m the man of the house now, and that includes doing what’s best for the farm and what’s best for my sister.”
“Does being the man of the house mean that you would make yourself intentionally miserable in order to revive a losing legacy?” I asked.
I knew that I was really pushing it now. I was stepping too far and crossing boundaries, but neither one of them would listen to me. I could only help them as much as they wanted to be helped, and they both had these delusions of just “taking care of each other and the farm” without seeing that neither one of them was really all that happy. Someone had to point out the obvious and speak the truth about it.
“Yes,” he answered without hesitation. “Of course it does. This legacy was all that my parents had, and they worked hard for years to grow it for Clara and me to have