didn’t express that properly. I meant to say, and this probably is not the day, but in some ways it is because I think your dad liked me….’ He’d tipped the rest of the whisky down in one, grimacing at the burn. ‘I love you, Jo.’
I’d rubbed my eyes. ‘Love me, how?’
‘When I was in Canada at New Year, I kept telling myself to make the most of being there, on that dream holiday we’d all promised ourselves. I hated you missing out. I couldn’t stop thinking about you back here sitting with your dad, knowing they couldn’t do any more for him. And I knew that, Vancouver or not, I’d rather be in Stedhurst to hold you and tell you that I’d be there for whatever you needed.’
I didn’t say anything. I’d leaned forward and rested my face on my forearms. He’d kissed the back of my head, leaning into my hair. And somewhere in my bruised and bereft heart, there’d been a tiny flicker of hope.
He was the only one who’d really supported me during that time. Ginny had been rather distant and Cory had tried to redeem himself over the years but he just didn’t do big emotion. Though tonight we’d see if the leopard had changed his spots. He’d issued a mysterious invitation, strict instructions to go over to his for dinner. I was in the mood for some of Cory’s irreverent humour, to have a few hours where Patrick and I could relax, away from Victor and Phoebe and the bloody villagers peering up our drive with their Labradoodles peeing up the gatepost. I made Phoebe put Life360 on her phone. ‘If I see that mobile leave the house for one single minute, I will be on the next train home. Otherwise we’ll see you about midnight.’
Chapter Sixteen
Patrick and I took bets on what Cory had to tell us. We were giddy with relief at having something to talk about that didn’t concern the kids. More often than not, we restricted our conversation to the banalities of life to avoid any conflict: who could pop to the post office and pick up a parcel. Otherwise when we were overtired, had had a few glasses of wine or I’d had an unsatisfactory text exchange with Faye, our discussion would turn into a bonfire of grievances, both current and historical. So Cory’s call to arms felt like a legitimate reason to risk leaving Victor and Phoebe home alone.
As we got into the car, I felt nearly as shy with him as I had been when we first made the transition from friends to lovers nearly two decades ago. Despite sharing a flat for a good chunk of the previous ten years and witnessing everything about each other from bathroom habits to hangover traditions, shifting from a platonic to a romantic relationship was an entirely different dynamic. And so apparently was parenting one wayward child of our own and one bereaved child of our best friend.
‘Does Cory know how hard we’ve been finding it with Victor and Phoebe?’ I asked.
‘I’ve told him a bit. He was pretty horrified when I said you’d brought up the possibility of sending Victor to Australia the other day.’
‘Typical Cory. Falling on the floor with shock about what everyone else is doing while dancing through life with nothing more challenging than the Battersea bakery running out of almond croissants. I’d love to see him navigate all this shit.’
Patrick made a grunt of agreement.
I searched for a topic that wouldn’t spoil these precious hours of freedom, pushing away the sense that Patrick had been disloyal to me, making me out to be the bad guy wanting to get rid of Victor. ‘Do you think he’s marrying Lulu?’
Patrick grinned. ‘Maybe. That would be great. Ages since we went to a good wedding. Or even a bad one.’
I slipped my hand into his. ‘She probably wants kids and intends to make sure his bachelor days are well and truly over.’
Patrick sighed. ‘I’d like to see him settle down. We’d probably see more of him. If he had kids, he might not find it quite so dull to come out into the sticks for a weekend. Especially if we promised them a lie-in.’
We spent a few happy minutes reminiscing about what a shock to the system it had been when Phoebe was born. Patrick started humming ‘Isn’t She Lovely?’ taking me right back to when he paced up and down the landing with her at three in