of slotting in at school with the rugby crowd, but it’ll still be nice for him to spend time with people he’s known for ages.’
I sat slumped against the door. ‘I hope he’ll be okay.’
‘Why wouldn’t he be?’
‘I don’t know. I just feel so responsible. And it’s not like with Phoebe, where we know the kids and their siblings and parents. We’ve effectively left him in a big city with a bunch of lads who might or might not look out for him.’
Patrick gave a grunt of exasperation. ‘For goodness’ sake, Jo. He’s eighteen. I’m sure he’ll survive a night out in a big city and a train journey home. He’s a sensible boy.’
Yet as Patrick sounded ever more confident that Victor would blossom with us, I was becoming more and more convinced that I was the wrong person for the job.
Chapter Eleven
In the event, Victor turned up on time not bearing any of the signs of a wild night out that I’d come to dread with Phoebe – love bites, a smashed phone, a lost jacket – though there was a distinct whiff of kebab and alcohol on him. I was so relieved nothing had happened on my watch, I practically flung myself at him when he appeared at the station. He didn’t rush to elaborate on what he’d got up to or what time he got to bed, though he did make a point of saying that he needed to go and visit his granddad as often as he could, ‘Because he wasn’t looking too good.’ I tried not to dismiss his worries with what he must have heard so many times when Ginny was ill: ‘He’ll be fine’ and made a mental note to encourage him to go to Cardiff regularly and FaceTime in between.
Phoebe, for her part, seemed pleased to see him, insisting on coming to watch him play rugby. I suspected she was getting some kudos among the other girls for having the captain of the rugby team as a long-term guest.
As Patrick said, ‘Anything that keeps her engaged with school is a good thing. It doesn’t always have to be academic.’ He squeezed my hand. ‘You worry too much.’
In my view, he didn’t worry anywhere near enough. While I lay there so many nights, my mind going down the alleyways of everything from unexpected pregnancy to liver damage, Patrick’s chest would rise and fall with the even rhythm of a man for whom tomorrow was just a happy little picnic away.
During the rugby match, Victor’s coach came over to speak to us. ‘That boy of yours is really talented. I wondered how you’d feel about him trying out for Saracens or Harlequins next summer?’
It was such a rare occurrence for a teacher to be seeking our agreement, rather than us pleading for help/more chances/different sets away from the troublemakers, that my brain had a difficult time switching into that space. Patrick was far more on it, asking the right questions, what it would entail, how the training would impact on his final year at school.
After he’d left, Patrick was fired up. ‘If he did well there, he might get a contract abroad, maybe even Australia or New Zealand.’ He paused. ‘Ginny always wanted him to travel, to open his mind to new experiences.’ He looked down. ‘She’d be so proud.’
I nodded and wondered whether the fuzzy outline of grief would forever surround happy moments with Victor, a reminder of everything Ginny had missed.
Phoebe and her friends were cheering on the other side of the field.
‘She’s turned out to be quite the rugby fan. At least it gets her off her phone,’ I said.
Patrick shrugged as though Phoebe was of little interest to him. ‘Is she going out tonight?’
‘She said something about a group of them going out for a pizza. She’s invited Victor, which is good of her. I think Helaina’s picking them up.’
‘Helaina?’ Patrick sounded as though he’d never heard of her before. I didn’t know whether it was a Patrick thing to only remember the names of two of her friends or a me thing to be constantly mapping Phoebe’s network, making sure she was included, not sitting on the periphery as I had throughout all of my schooldays. I’d only really found my niche once I’d met Ginny and discovered that someone who was popular and didn’t need my friendship seemed to enjoy my company.
‘Yes, you know, the one who’s going to Cambridge. Andrea’s daughter. Helaina. She passed her test two