to Faye and said, ‘Speak soon. Give me some dates when you’re free for dinner at ours in November.’ There was a tiny beat. ‘Or December.’ My words trailed off and I made a point of not looking at the expression on her face.
‘It’s a busy time at the moment, what with Lee’s mum and dad not making their mind up about when they want to come and stay and Lee’s got a lot on with work.’
I opened the car door, nodding like I didn’t know she was giving me the brush-off. It certainly wasn’t the moment to investigate my exclusion from Rita’s fiftieth.
In the end, Faye couldn’t quite bring herself to draw a definitive line in the sand and muttered, ‘I’ll double-check.’
‘Let me know when you know.’ I got in the car, trying to ward off the feeling that I’d just confirmed a string of winter Saturday nights with Strictly rather than Faye and Lee.
The hurt that our friendship couldn’t withstand a bit of trouble with our kids filled me with an anger that I directed towards Phoebe, becoming the raging woman snapping down the indicator at every corner, pushing through on amber lights, speeding onto the roundabout like I had a host of policemen on my tail.
‘I mean, what were you actually thinking of? What did Georgia mean by you’d done it “loads of times”? What is going on with you? Do you want to end up in a young offenders’ institution rather than university? Because the way you’re going, that’s what will happen!’
Phoebe stared out of the window, refusing to rise to my ‘What? You must have an answer. Help me understand!’ Though, in reality, I was beyond wanting to understand and far more intent on finding an outlet for my impotence that I’d done such a poor job at bringing up Phoebe.
She didn’t say a word, just slammed out of the car and straight into the house.
I staggered out, light-headed with rage and weak with hopelessness. What I did know was that I hadn’t improved anything. I chalked up a little tally in my mind.
Bellowing out my own upset and anger: tick.
Trying to find a way forward: a big fat zero.
Reflective listening skills: Room for significant improvement.
Victor arrived home soon afterwards. He always did a little tap on the door before he came in, even though I told him over and over again to walk straight in. There was something lively about him, just like Ginny when she’d nailed an interview with someone the bigger magazines had wanted or been asked to go on the radio about a feature she’d written.
I managed to say, ‘How was your day?’ even though I wanted to hang my head and say, ‘I’m sorry you’ve had to come and live in this chaos. Would you like me to see if you could live with Cory?’
But Victor was grinning from ear-to-ear as though our little cottage and his box room were paradise. ‘I’ve been made captain of the rugby team while Jordan is concussed. I might get to be co-captain when he comes back if I do well while he’s off.’
I forced my face into a smile. ‘That’s fantastic. Well done.’
That wouldn’t suit Faye and Lee at all.
Chapter Nine
Patrick was nowhere near as furious as I was about the shoplifting. ‘Honestly, my sister got caught with a whole load of pick ’n’ mix up her sleeve in Woolworths at Phoebe’s age, but she didn’t turn into a career criminal. I know it’s not ideal, but I don’t think it means she’ll end up in prison.’
‘But it’s not a good time for her to get a reputation as trouble when the school are going to start predicting grades and writing university references.’
Patrick sighed. ‘They’re not going to be looking at any of that for another year. Sometimes I think you’re too strict and that’s what she’s rebelling against.’
‘Too strict? What, because I don’t want to have to stand in front of some bloody security guard and store manager and say, “Yes sir, no sir, it won’t happen again, sir?” Next time, you can go and feel like the shittest parent in the world. Perhaps you’d like to talk to her, see if you can get through to her. At the very least we should ground her.’
Patrick’s face was blank and neutral, as though I was speaking in a reasonable, conciliatory manner rather than having a go at him. ‘I think we need to be careful about giving her more reason to kick