My leg rested over his, and my head lay beside him, close enough that his hair tickled my nose. My hand absently rubbed circles over his heart while I drifted between agonizing wakefulness and the blackness of sleep. The thoughts in my brain were scattered, skipping around randomly and fleeing whenever I tried to grasp an idea to expand on it. Axton came in to check on us so often that he should have pulled up a chair. When I said as much, he stared at Kian’s unmoving form and blank face then shook his head.
Before he left, he drew a blanket over Kian and me, leaned down to place a kiss on my cheek, and whispered, “I can’t. It’s too similar to what happened with Bevan.”
I nodded and heard him slip away, his feet light on the floor. The click of the latch sounded shockingly loud to my ears. Then I leaned my head back a bit, enough to take in all of Kian’s face before admonishing him.
“You need to wake up, Kian. Trace says you’re just trying to avoid dealing with the Angels. He jokes, but I can see the hurt and worry in his eyes when he glances to where you should be, his mouth already open with some quip. Axton seems to be wobbling on a ledge, preparing himself to fall off the edge. I don’t think he could handle it if you never woke. Grace, well, I know she couldn’t deal with it. She’s locked herself in her room and won’t even come out to eat with us anymore. She’s questioning if she did the right thing, or if she’s doomed you to a lifetime of being stuck like this, forced into a binding that your soul no longer wants or your body can’t tolerate. Shadow’s here, too, and she keeps tapping your fingers in hopes you’ll play one of your rhythms.”
I paused my wavering one-sided conversation, trying to gulp down the lump that seemed permanently lodged in my throat. Talking to Kian without seeing his eyes full of mirth or his smirk felt so soul-breakingly wrong. A sob broke through the barrier I’d pushed them behind. No. He’s not supposed to be the one that makes me cry.
Heat bubbled in my gut, and I gritted my teeth. In an instant, the swirling despair morphed into fury. I latched onto it, needing it, channeling the anger into fuel.
“You will not give up on me. Not after you wormed your way into my life,” I bit out. “Not after you somehow convinced my heart that it was safe to depend on you. No, you don’t get to feed me a steady diet of smiles and safety, then rip it away. I won’t let you. You can either wake up, or I’ll chase you into whatever place you’re hiding in right now. Trust me, Kian.” I scooted closer until I touched his ear with my lips. “You do not want me to hunt you.”
I held my breath, waiting for him to open his eyes and turn to me, spouting something silly. He didn’t. My hard exhale blew his hair around, revealing that tipped point that I loved.
Another sob rose unbidden, and I couldn’t stop them this time. They poured out of me, heavy and painful. I hadn’t realized how much hope I’d had pinned on that stupid speech until it crashed, shattering at my feet. The bed shook each time another sob chipped away a bit more of my heart. Breathing became a foreign thought, hampered by the tightness and ache around my ribs. My sight was nothing more than a wall of tears, and I gripped him a little tighter.
Then I heard a soft tune, slow and soothing.
I jerked up, and he groaned.
My cries cut off in an instant, and my chest burned for another reason. I held my breath, hoping to hear a sound from him, anything. His eyes were still closed, and he remained unmoving. Silence.
Did I imagine it?
“Kian?” I whispered.
His tongue peeked out as he licked his dry, cracked lips.
I gasped. “Kian, open your eyes. Please,” I begged.
“Shhh, too tired,” he said drowsily, his words cracking.
My heart, already racing far too fast, rose into my throat and exploded.
“Grace!” I screamed, making him wince.
Outside, in the gathering room, stomping feet ran towards us. A door smacked against a wall as it was thrown open, then Kian’s door burst inwards. Axton stood in the doorway, his hands gripping the frame on either side as if