as I thought, Who was I to think I could do anything to help others? I could barely support myself.
Guards ambushed Con, Taris, and random Soulless. Their blood ran in rivers through the streets—the Guards' grey boots splashing it as they hunted the Soulless. The wails of children and the thumps of those boots mixed with the echoes of that sinister laugh.
You are no one special, nothing extraordinary, and nothing would change if you weren't even here anymore.
The visions changed to ones of the trio laughing. Kian and Trace bickering. Grace with Corin at the palace, both of them enjoying a light lunch as they chatted. Con and his crew with a bounce in their step.
I stumbled forward, breaking myself from the frozen position I'd been in. Grace appeared in front of me, her face easily relaying her emotions. Even without seeing her, I would have known precisely what she felt. The concern that poured from her was thick, so thick that it left me unable to breathe.
I gasped, trying to pull in oxygen as the whispers asked why I bothered with the hassle of breathing. That question was easier to ignore. My survival instinct had already kicked in, even if it was panicking.
“It's okay, Zella. Here. Sit,” Grace said, her voice soft but commanding at the same time. She led me off the walkway and helped me sit on the small lawn of one of the units near ours.
I continued to suck in air in big heaving breaths that came too close together, and the whispers dimmed as my head became fuzzy. The world seemed so far away, and then it became grey as I wobbled. It was how I'd always imagined death. That instant of in-between as the soul ripped from its last anchor.
“Slow down, Zella,” Grace instructed, her hand rubbing circles on my back.
That gave me something to focus on while I worked to regulate my breathing. She counted, coaching me through the actions.
When I finally felt almost normal again, my clumsy-feeling hand reached for my pocket and thrust into it, digging around to find my container. It was as though a barrier existed between my fingers and the container, and I struggled to get the lid off.
Grace's hand closed over my increasingly frantic motions until I allowed her to take it from me.
You can't even open a silly container. Pitiful.
I shook my head, trying to dislodge the thoughts that kept appearing, but it only continued to berate me. My mind didn't want to stop.
“Here,” Grace said as she held her hand out.
I thrust my palm towards her, watching as she dropped the tabs onto it. They quickly disappeared as I slapped them to my mouth, throwing them to the back of my throat before swallowing them.
My cloak rustled as she replaced the container, but I paid no attention. Instead, I pulled my knees to me and wrapped my arms around them, rocking slightly as the horrible images and ideas kept flashing inside of my head. I buried my face in the darkness there and hoped to hide away from it all. A useless endeavor, but one I couldn't seem to disobey.
Time must have passed while I tried to escape because the whispers faded bit by bit. I almost felt comfortable enough to uncurl myself when someone snatched me up. I struck out, using both my fists and my abilities.
“Stop that shit,” Trace grumbled.
I let the cold keep crawling over his body, but I stopped trying to hit him. “Then stop picking me up without warning.”
He mumbled something under his breath, and his scowl deepened. Trace carried me the short walk to the unit, with Grace trailing behind us with her head down. I just laid my head onto Trace's shoulder and closed my eyes. The recriminations were still there, but they existed more as feelings than actual words or images.
I took the opportunity to check on my monster and found it floating on its back in my well. It had one arm beneath its head, and the other lazily pushed it around in slow circles. It seemed calm and quiet, but just before I pulled away, it winked at me. An uneasy sensation crawled through me, leaving me with a nauseated gut and a racing mind.
Has connecting with it allowed it to begin eating away at my soul? Did I give it strength by paying attention to it? Is this what Master Akai meant by it taking over?
No answers came by the time we entered the