threw his empty beer can at me, and I wasn’t really sure where to go with that because I hadn’t thought it through.
I’d just assumed they’d automatically believe me.
“I hate to be the bearer of heartbreak, but Jesse’s not all that keen on you.”
I blinked. “What? He likes me.”
Nate tipped his head back against the edge of the pool, another laugh bubbling up.
“It drives him batshit that you eat everything in the fridge. He bitched all summer about the wet towels you left on the bathroom floor. He calls you meatbutt.” Mark delivered that last bit in a dramatically low voice.
“Meatbutt?”
“That might actually be a compliment,” Nate interjected. “Not 100 percent sure, though.”
“Soooo…this crush. Did it involve a dare and someone’s dick getting sucked?” Mark joked, which, all things considered, wasn’t that far off the mark.
But I knew at that second I wasn’t going to confess anything more about how it’d come about. I didn’t know how to without going back to the beginning, and I hadn’t talked to Jesse about it either.
“It probably won’t amount to anything. It’s just…I didn’t know if it was maybe a little weird for me to even be interested in a guy because of what I said about sucking off that other guy and not being into it.”
Mark sat up abruptly, water sloshing over the side of the pool. “Oh shit, you’re serious.” He narrowed his eyes again. “Wait. Are you serious?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I’m really into him.” That wasn’t a lie; it just didn’t expand on what all we’d been doing together.
Nate shrugged. “Fuck if I know. Sexuality shit still confuses me sometimes. Love’s easier, I think. You love who you love, and regardless of how that fits into the spectrum of sexuality, I’m pretty sure it’s one of those things that when you know, you know.”
I got that funny feeling in my stomach again.
We all startled as the back door banged open. Jesse leaned in the doorway, staring at us with a puzzled expression. “Is this a meeting of the American Society of Rejects? I’ll let Ansel know when he gets home.”
“Yes. And you’re now dis-invited.” Mark flipped him the bird.
“I’m wounded. There’s a pizza guy here. Want me to put it on the counter? Or shall I just set it in the middle of your…ho-bro camp?” Jesse’s gaze landed on me, moving up my calves and torso, and finally met my eyes. His lips quirked before he moved on, a tinge of color in his cheeks.
“Do you call me meatbutt behind my back?” I spread my arms over the back of the pool and widened my legs a little, smirking when Jesse’s eyes zipped down between my legs before he focused resolutely on my face.
I slid a hand between my thighs for a quick adjustment that made his Adam’s apple bob in a hard swallow. The tinge of color in his cheeks became a full-on scarlet flush.
“Meat…um…oh yeah. It might’ve crossed my lips a time or two. Maybe five or ten or a hundred.” Jesse jabbed an accusing finger in Mark’s direction when he snorted. “Traitor! That’s against the roommate handbook.”
“Right, but the American Society of Rejects operates by a different set of rules. We’re all morally bankrupt.”
“Right.” Jesse rolled his eyes. “Anyway, I’m leaving the pizza on the counter.”
“Have some if you want,” I offered. “There’s plenty.”
He wrinkled his nose sourly. “Madzo’s oversalts their crust. It’s atrocious.”
“I think you mean, ‘Thanks for the offer, but I’ll decline.’”
“Wasn’t that what I just said?” He smiled sweetly at me and then, with a quick glance at Nate and Mark, stepped back inside and let the door shut behind him.
Silence stretched for an awkwardly long time, and then Mark busted out laughing. “I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen you flirt with someone before. That was a trip.”
“That was flirting?” Nate looked bewildered.
“Oh, it was definitely flirting. Shit, I’d put money on some hard-core frottage within a week.”
God, I wondered what he’d say if he knew what had gone down in the library the other day. Not to mention everything that had come before.
After we killed the pizza, Nate and Mark split to meet up with their respective others, and I was left with a rare moment of having nothing to do. Jesse’s keys were still on the counter, but he wasn’t downstairs. I flung myself on the couch, flipped through the channels restlessly for a while, then turned off the TV and climbed the stairs, standing outside Jesse’s door for a handful