bit of both.
When I got back to the house, I stood alone in the kitchen grinning like an idiot for a solid minute as I thought about Sam giving me his granola bar, then for an additional minute thinking about bottoming for Sam. And finally, I did what one naturally did when wanting to express their extreme gratitude and reluctantly growing affection: I made a big ol’ batch of Rotel and put it in the fridge with a sticky note plunked on top that read, For Sam only!
24
Sam
The next Thursday was unseasonably warm, so when I got done with my weight lifting session early, Mark, Nate, and I picked up a case of beer and a few $15 plastic kiddie pools that we dragged into the backyard of the house and filled. We each occupied one and set the cooler full of beer in the middle.
“Damn, I love senior year.” Nate tilted his head back to catch the sun on his face. “This is the life.”
Mark and I lifted our beer cans in solidarity.
“You and Eric figured out where you’re going after graduation?” Mark asked.
“Probably DC. Makes the most sense. Lots of job ops for us there, and Eric already has a line on some engineering firm he’s been talking with. What about you and Chet, or is that even up for discussion yet?”
Chet and Mark had been on the down low for a while due to some drama surrounding Mark’s family.
Mark hedged. “We’ll definitely be in DC for the summer because Chet has a law internship waiting on him. But I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”
“Trouble already?”
“With Chet, you mean?” Mark laughed. “Fuck no. I’ll be with that asshole for the rest of my life, probably.” The goofy grin on his face was smitten, and between him and Nate, I couldn’t help feeling a little like they were part of some couples’ club I’d been left out of. “I just mean with my life. I changed my major to pre-law, pretty much hated the internship I just finished and…” Mark dismissed the subject with a wave of his hand. “Never mind. I’ll figure it out. Beer me?”
I nudged the cooler open with my toe, leaned forward just enough to swipe a fresh can, and lobbed it at Mark before dropping back into the pool. “My plan is to go to Vegas, spend a shit ton of money in a strip club, and hopefully wake up married. Thanks for asking.”
Mark cocked his head and tsked me. “Awww, feeling left out?”
“A little bit, actually.”
“I saw that girl Natalie all over you a while back. Nothing came of that?”
I laughed. “That was months ago. And nah. I wasn’t into it.” I hesitated. On the one hand, if there was anyone who’d get my situation, it was Nate and Mark. On the other hand, I wasn’t ready to be up-front about my videos, so more than half the story would be missing, and Jesse was an even more complex subject.
I took a fortifying sip of beer. “So, anal sex.”
Nate spluttered on his beer.
Mark whipped his head toward me. “What?”
“With guys,” I elaborated.
Mark’s eyes narrowed, and he and Nate exchanged a glance. “What about it? You want to have it? You want us to tell you about it? This is…what the hell is happening?”
“Tell me about it.”
“It’s the same as with girls, dude. Just prep it and poke it.”
Mark wrinkled his nose at Nate. “Oh, is that how it goes down for you, Mr. Know-it-all?”
“More or less. What, are you and Chet doing rituals to call down the rain beforehand? It’s not rocket science.”
“I’ve never done anal with anyone,” I admitted, and the weight of both their eyes on me made my cheeks heat.
“Actually, that’s not surprising,” Nate said. “I’d be hesitant to let that monster in, too.”
“Great, thanks. Super helpful.”
Mark raised a hand. “Are we going to talk about the bigger picture here? Are you questioning things? Wanting to do anal with a guy?”
“Ummm, both?” I liked how Mark said “questioning,” though, instead of outright asking me if I was gay or bi, because I was still trying to figure that part out. I just knew straight was no longer the right fit for me. “I’ve kind of got a crush. And it kinda happened by accident.” I scratched my head. “Maybe?”
Nate and Mark exchanged a look. “So are you gonna tell us who it is or what?”
“Jesse.”
“Are you shitting me?” Mark crowed and then fell back laughing. “You’re such a dickhead.”
Nate