eyes met, blinked quickly away, and squeezed them shut as if he was in enormous pain.
“Are you okay?” I stared at him with growing concern. My first aid skills were a little rusty.
Jesse popped his eyes open. “Goddammit, I know you’re spankit4u and I can’t even look at you now because I know I’m not supposed to know, and your dick is huge—just like you said it was— though I didn’t believe you at the time, and—” He covered his face and let out another pained sound that was a cross between a keen and dramatic groan as I felt the blood drain from my face. “I’ve been jerking off to your solo sessions for weeks, and I feel like a total fucking perv. I’m obviously not doing that anymore, since I found out it was you—the jerking off part, I mean—because that would be totally fucking weird, right? But I was definitely doing it before and I…that’s awkward. I’m still probably a perv any way you cut it.”
I digested all of that in shocked silence. I’d been careful to never show my face. I had few identifying marks on my body. No tattoos or unique birthmarks. Nothing crazy memorable. “What…which…how—?” Now was the moment my brain cells chose to abandon me.
“When I got your conditioner that day, I almost knocked a water bottle over and in the process of trying not to fry your computer, woke it up and saw the Pornhub page. I didn’t really think of it until I saw the video you posted from Mark’s parents’ house. Remember when I ran into you when you were in that bathroom with the red wallpaper and that weird gold tissue box?”
“Shit.” I hadn’t even been thinking about it. I’d been thinking about Jesse and John and draft picks. I had no recollection of a gold tissue box.
Jesse dragged his hand down one side of his face. “I know, tell me about it. I blush every time I look at you now. I snarked at you about dick size and…you totally weren’t lying. Now when I look at you, I think about how I know you like to play with that notch when you—” He put his hands over his bright red face. “See?”
Mortification tried to surge up inside me, but I tamped it down, and an unexpected laugh bubbled out in its place. He was right. I’d never even noticed before, but when I thought about it, I absolutely gravitated to that little divot in my crown when I was getting myself hard.
Jesse peeked at me through a crack in his fingers. “You’re laughing?”
“I—yeah.” I couldn’t seem to stop. I fell back on the bed as it rumbled out of my chest and then scrubbed my hands over my cheeks. “Fuck, okay.”
Jesse was still staring at me like I’d confused him. I was a little confused myself. But I figured the hysterical tinge was probably understandable. Jesse was the last person in the world I’d ever imagined I’d be caught by.
I sat up. “Okay, let’s sort this shit. You watched my vids before you figured out it was me. That’s no big deal. No reason to feel like a perv for that. Right?”
Jesse dropped his hands from his face and chewed the inside of his cheek. “Okay, technically you’re correct.”
“And I don’t feel weird about that, because shit, that’s what they’re up there for, right?”
“Right.” Jesse nodded, still working the inside of his cheek furiously.
“So you know what my dick looks like and how I like to jerk off. No big deal.” He made the cringe face again, and I chuckled in spite of myself. “I’ve seen lots of dicks, and I can always tell when you’ve jerked off in the shower.” I hitched one shoulder casually.
“What?” Jesse blanched. “How?”
“You take at least five minutes longer and come out whistling ‘Don’t Stop Me Now.’”
“Correlation does not equal causation,” he pointed out mock sternly.
“Okay, well, once those two factors were in play and you missed a spot on the shower wall.”
“Fine, your case holds a little more water now.” He cracked a small smile. “Or other fluids, as it were.” He wrinkled his nose at himself. “Too much?”
“It was just a tiny spot,” I quipped. “See, no big deal.” God, the last thing I wanted was to make Jesse feel awkward around me. I really liked hanging out with him.
He sucked in a huge breath and exhaled it out his nose, nostrils flaring. He did that a lot, and