going to be late for my date. Cam, it needs to go into the oven for about seven minutes. Keep an eye on it. Just leave enough for me.”
“You’re going out with John tonight?” I’d assumed that ship had sailed.
“Yeah, we finally found a time that worked for both of us.”
“So why are you cooking dinner, then?”
He pressed his lips together, adorably recalcitrant before he relented. “We’re eating at a restaurant I’m not familiar with, and if their food sucks and I can’t eat it, I want to know I’ve got something good waiting for me back here. Otherwise, I’ll get preemptively hangry.”
“Preemptively hangry,” I echoed. “Only you. Plenty of good stuff waiting for you back here.” It popped out of my mouth before I could stop it, and Jesse’s eyes crinkled a little at the corners.
“Well yeah, but you know what I mean.”
I pretended I did with a nod. “I hope you have a good time. I’m gonna go get some studying done. Cam, I’ll help you with that desk in a little while.”
Once in my room, I flopped on my bed and scrolled aimlessly through my phone, trying to distract myself from the slightly uneasy feeling in my stomach. I knew what it was, and I knew it didn’t technically belong there, but I couldn’t help it, and not even checking the bank account I’d set up for my OnlyFans earnings helped, this time.
18
Jesse
It was painfully evident before we’d even received our entrees that John and I were not a match. That shouldn’t have been a problem considering the oath I’d made to bang my way through senior year. It didn’t have to be a love match to hook up with someone, and in my short interactions with John, I’d gotten a similar impression, that this was a slightly classier step up from the average Grindr swipe and suck.
The problem was I couldn’t muster any enthusiasm. And I hadn’t been able to even before the date. I’d accepted when John asked because I thought I should, because I told myself that making sex videos with a friend did not fall within the goal posts I’d set for senior year. That, in fact, it worked against the goalposts no matter how much I liked hanging out with Sam and no matter how much I really, really looked forward to messing around with him.
I’d assumed once I’d actually gotten out of the house—read: out of sight of Sam—and around John, what I remembered of his good looks and charm would have me salivating again.
But that wasn’t happening either.
John was attractive and funny, but as we sat across from one another, I had all the desire to rub up against him that I might have for a cardboard box.
We still had at least one course to get through. We’d discussed his time at the U, law school, working for the law firm, my time at the U, how much I loved cooking. I wasn’t sure what was left.
“So which part of town did you say you live in again?” I asked, taking a cheerful stab at another topic.
John smiled congenially. It was the same kind of smile I’d given him, which told me we were both striving to be polite awhile secretly hoping the other one would be the first to call this date out as a bust so we could both relax. “I rent a loft in Forsythe.”
“Ohhh, I love lofts.” Maybe we could shift to decor and aesthetics. I looked forward to aesthetics someday when I didn’t share a house with four other grimy dudes. “What kind of vibe do you have going? Sleek and minimal or cozy and lived-in?”
John considered for a moment, his gaze straying to my phone sitting at the edge of the table as the screen lit up with a notification. “The furniture was already there when I moved in. I’d say it’s a renter-chic vibe.” He chuckled. “Lots of beige and neutrals.”
Okay, this topic was a fail. Painful. He nudged his chin toward my phone screen again. “You need to see who that is? Looks like a fireworks show going off over there.”
“Sorry, that’s so rude of me.” The first notification was from Sam. I had no doubt the rest were, too. I clicked the screen to darken it and turned the phone over. “It’s just my roommate being an idiot.”
“Sam?”
“I can’t wait to tell him you immediately knew which roommate I was referring to when I said ‘idiot.’”
John laughed again. He had a