what I was, which was Grade A gay.
Like, there had never been a single second of doubt for me, so my friends who had struggled to figure out their own identities, I could sympathize with them, but I couldn’t relate, which would have been a weird thing to say aloud, probably. So my best understanding was that when a guy was fooling around with another guy but also claiming to be straight, it was smart to take him at face value because he was probably thinking in terms of orgasms, not long term.
Sam shifted on the bed, facing me. “I like you.”
He said it so casually that I had a hard time determining what kind of like he meant. I mean, I could Venn diagram it with last night’s foot incident in the middle and arrive at a hypothesis, sure. But that didn’t mean I believed it. “Well, stop it.” I hoped it came out somewhere halfway between a tease and caution. Then I caught a glance at the alarm clock and bolted upright. “Shit, my little brother is going to be here in five seconds.” Or half an hour. Same thing.
“Yeah? Which one?” Sam rolled upright slowly, not getting the five-alarm memo. He stretched his arms overhead, every human muscle known to man putting itself on rigorous and artful display. I sighed internally.
“Matt.” It was visitors’ weekend, and even though he’d already applied to the U early decision, he craved time out of our crazy house, too. Of all my brothers and sisters, we were probably closest even if just by default in the birth order.
“My brother’s coming, too. But not until later this afternoon.”
“Does he play any sports?”
“Ha. Nope.” Sam rubbed his lower lip thoughtfully. “There’s a Sigma party Saturday night, though. You should bring Matt if you’re not working. Give him a taste of the Greek life.”
I beaned him with my pillow.
“What?” He laughed.
“On a scale of one to I-don’t-even-need-to-ask, how hard did you have to exert yourself holding back something about me tasting the Greek life?”
Sam lurched forward, lips brushing over mine before I could react. It was so quick, it was hardly more than the sensation of crackling static. A little zing of electricity and then gone, but boy did it have a lasting impact on my heartrate and my ability to breathe properly.
My mouth fell open, and I waited for words to follow. An admonishment or joke or…something. But nope. My throat had ceased working, too.
Sam slid from the edge of the bed and stood for another languid stretch, this time exhibiting his back muscles. God, all that was missing was a fan of peacock plumes bursting from his ass.
He glanced over his shoulder at me, gaze dropping to his own asscheeks and then lifting to meet my eyes. His lips split in a smug grin as he flexed each cheek individually.
“Smug isn’t cute on you,” I pointed out, and he laughed as he strolled to my door. He peered out through the crack, then opened it wider, which I took to mean Cam had already left for work.
“Think about that party, though, for real. It’d be fun.” He started through the door and then swiveled around to face me. “John’s loss, by the way. I didn’t think he was a good match for you, if you want my honest opinion. You’d have been bored of watching Law & Order: SVU with him in a month.”
I exhaled a gusty sigh because he wasn’t wrong. But I didn’t know what to do about my pounding heart or the fact that it had absolutely nothing to do with John.
19
Sam
Kimpton U had us running all the fuck over the field Friday night. I was drenched a half hour in and at the hour mark, actively hurting.
“Harding, get some water for fuck’s sake,” Coach hollered at me during half-time.
“Gladly,” I muttered under my breath and trotted off to the cooler, scanning the student section in search of Jesse. I found him sitting with his brother and mine, as well as Mark, Chet, and Cam, color high in his cheeks, pom-poms in his hands that he and his brother kept bopping each other with. He was wearing a football jersey that’d been cropped above his belly button, and Jesus, was it distracting.
A tingle ran over my lips as I thought back to this morning. I hadn’t wanted to get out of that bed, and I was bummed I wouldn’t see him the rest of the night since I’d promised