to be together. Even if some part of me feels like an idiot.”
“You were never an idiot, Nessa.”
“Maybe not. But as I said, I’m responsible for my thoughts and feelings.”
I stared at her then, not knowing what else to say. “We’re okay?” I asked, feeling like an idiot.
She smiled. “Of course. We’re friends because we’re friends, nothing more, nothing less. And not because of my wrong and weird feelings. Now, I’m going to kick you out. Not because I’m angry or weird—even though I am weird, but that’s beside the point.”
That made me snort because she sounded like the old Nessa, the one I had hurt with my incompetence.
“Go, find her. You two are meant for each other.”
I sighed and pulled her close for a hug. She stiffened for a moment, and I was afraid that I had made the wrong move, but then she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me back.
“You’re my friend, Nessa.”
“Yeah, I am,” she said with a smile I felt against my shoulder and then let go, leading me towards the door. And Mackenzie.
And, hopefully, my future.
Chapter 22
Mackenzie
I was once again running late, and while I didn’t want to be that student flailing as she ran across campus, I figured I might need to be soon if I didn’t pick up the pace.
Dr. Michaels had emailed me that morning, telling me that I needed to meet with him for something vital. Just because he wasn’t my favorite person didn’t mean I would blow him off. So that meant I had to shower and try to look presentable since I had been wallowing in my pajamas and covered in junk food for nearly a full day, as I studied and pretended like Pacey hadn’t pushed me out of his house like I was nothing. Okay, that wasn’t exactly what he had done, but that’s what it’d felt like in the moment. And I wasn’t feeling particularly charitable to anyone just then. Because I missed Pacey, damn it. It had been less than a day since I saw him last, and I missed him. I had picked up my phone to text and call dozens of times since I walked out, but I hadn’t, knowing he needed space. I would give it to him, even if it broke me in the process.
I wasn’t very good at this. I didn’t feel like I was good at anything lately, but I would try.
I made my way down the path and nearly ran into Sanders. He put his hands on my arms to steady me, and I gave him a slight nod before pulling away. His touch didn’t revolt me as it probably should, but I didn’t feel anything at the moment. The fact that I didn’t, that I didn’t really care at all, told me that maybe I was doing okay.
“You okay there?” Sanders asked, and I nodded tightly.
“Thanks for making sure I didn’t fall. Bye.”
He gave me a sad smile before walking away towards his new girlfriend. I walked the other way. I wasn’t sad. I was over him. And later, I would think about that and relish the fact that maybe I was growing. But for now, I needed to get to my meeting and pretend that I wasn’t in love with Pacey and breaking inside because I couldn’t be with him.
I had so much else on my plate that I couldn’t focus on Pacey. Or the fact that I missed him.
I made my way to Dr. Michaels’ office and swallowed hard. I pushed my hair away from my face and tried not to look too disheveled. I knocked on the door.
“Come in,” the man said in his gruff voice. I twisted the doorknob and walked inside.
Dr. Michaels gave me a grave look and gestured towards the chair in front of him. “Take a seat. We have a few things to discuss.”
“I’m glad I’m not late,” Dr. Jackson said from behind me, and my eyes widened.
I frowned for a minute, wondering what this could be about as I looked between the two of them. Dr. Michaels narrowed his eyes at Dr. Jackson but gestured for her to take the other seat in front of his desk. Dr. Jackson gave me a small smile before she sat next to me. For some reason, I felt even more nervous, anxiety mixed with relief at seeing her.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“I suppose we’ll have to explain it,” Dr. Michaels said, his voice a growl.
Dr. Jackson cleared her throat. “Maybe