it’s all my fault. I would understand if you never wanted to see me again. If you pushed me away and we never talked, it would be my fault. But I wanted you to know what I saw. Because what if I’m right? What if we’re hurting her by being together?”
I swallowed hard and leaned back against the cushions. “I don’t want to talk about this,” I said, worried now. I needed to think, had to go over my every interaction with her.
And I was so afraid that Mackenzie was right.
Because I was blind. And, fuck, what if I was hurting Nessa?
“Okay, we can talk about something else. We can talk about school, or I can go. I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have said anything, but I really don’t want to hurt Nessa. She’s my friend. What if we’re hurting our friend?”
“I get what you’re saying and why, and I’ll think about it later, but I can’t talk about it right now. Jesus, Mackenzie. What if you’re right?”
Her eyes filled with tears, but she blinked them away quickly. “Exactly. What if I’m right? I don’t know what I’ll do. We need to fix this. She’s our friend,” she whispered.
“You’re right. She is. And, Jesus, I hope to hell you’re wrong.”
“Me, too. It’d be great if I had overreacted and wasn’t adding something else to our already strenuous piles.”
“Why does this all have to be so damn hard?” I growled out.
“Because we’re complex, and we have a lot of friends. And, sometimes, we fuck up.”
She sighed. “Or maybe I’m just overreacting. I want to be overreacting.”
She let out a breath and ran her hands through her hair. It made her look all tousled and sexy, and if I weren’t afraid that I would lose my breath just looking at her, I would lean forward and take her. Anything to get my mind off Nessa and the fact that I could be hurting her.
“So, what else is going on?” she asked.
“Let’s see, school, friends, lack of work, though I am thinking about asking if I can work with Dillon once I have time.”
Her eyes widened. “You’d be good behind the bar.”
I snorted. “You know, the accent could help with tips.”
“Damn right, it would,” she said, teasing. She was smiling, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. We were both on a precipice, stressed out. But we’d figure this out. We had to.
“Anything else? Oh, how was dinner with your dad?”
I gritted my teeth. “I didn’t tell you, did I?” I asked.
Her eyes widened. “What do you mean? What happened? I assumed everything went all right because you didn’t say anything.”
I let out a breath. “My father brought his girlfriend to dinner.”
She blinked at me, staring. “Your dad has a girlfriend?” she asked.
I let out a growl.
“A pregnant girlfriend,” I quipped.
“No,” she said, and I nodded.
“Yep. And now we know the reason my parents’ marriage, the one that was so strong for over twenty years, blew up. Because my dad is a fucking nob and can’t keep it in his pants.”
“Pacey, I’m so sorry.”
I shook my head, my chest tightening. Hopefully, it was just stress, because Jesus, it was hard to breathe. “I’m fine,” I replied and shook my head again. “I think. They tried to explain it to me, say that they were in love and that things changed or whatever the fuck. I don’t bloody know. My dad has a girlfriend who’s not much older than me, and she’s pregnant.” I paused. “Fuck, I’m going to have a baby sister or brother.”
“Pacey,” Mackenzie whispered.
“Hell, this is all a little too fucking much. I cannot believe they did this. My parents loved each other. They went through so much shit with me when I was a kid,” I said and then closed my mouth.
“What do you mean?”
“Just, you know, normal stuff,” I said. I didn’t know why I was lying. I shouldn’t. It wasn’t like my disease was a secret. I just didn’t talk about it.
I rubbed my chest, my breathing coming a little harder. Hell, maybe I was sick.
“Anyway, my parents? They were the epitome of love and happiness. And my dad threw it all away.”
“I’m so sorry, Pace.”
I smiled softly. “You called me Pace.”
“Oh, I didn’t mean to. Do you not like it?”
“I do. I always wanted to call you Mac, but now that I know Hunter calls you that, I don’t want to anymore.”
She grimaced. “He did kind of ruin that name for me.”
“Then you’ll always be Mackenzie to