and then she began to move. She rode me with abandon, and I let go of her hands so I could slide my palms up her hips and ribs to cup her breasts. Her mouth parted, and I played with her nipples, needing to touch her, needing to feel her.
This was perfection, aching perfection that told me that if I weren’t careful, I would fall for the one person I shouldn’t. Because she wasn’t ready. She couldn’t be. We had no future, and that was something I had to keep telling myself. Yet I knew that wasn’t the case. Because I wanted more, needed more. I was falling in love with Mackenzie Thomas.
She leaned forward and kissed me softly. I groaned and moved my hands to tug at her hair, squeezing her tighter. I couldn’t get enough of her. I needed her—needed her more than anything.
I choked back a growl as she kept moving, and I thrust into her.
I felt like I was falling for her, and yet I was afraid I’d already fallen.
Not because of this, not because of this moment, but because of everything.
And I couldn’t. Not with so much up in the air, not when I knew she would leave when she needed to. Because the best thing in the world would be to watch Mackenzie fly, to watch her bloom into what she was meant to be.
I couldn’t hold her back. I couldn’t love her. Only I was afraid I already did.
When she came, I followed her, and then I held her close. Her sleepy smile told me more than I wanted to know.
She would have to walk away soon because she needed to discover who she was without somebody else. She had all but said that when she spoke of Sanders, and I needed to let her.
Only my arms wouldn’t let her go. And I was afraid, so damn afraid that my heart wouldn’t either.
Chapter 16
Mackenzie
My head ached, but I would be okay. At least that’s what I told myself. I loved my major and my classes, but sometimes it was all a little bit much, especially all at once. I could only really blame myself, though. I had been the one to add the extra class to complete my course load on time. Perhaps if the school hadn’t changed one of the courses from a fall semester to a spring semester course, I wouldn’t feel like I was scrambling. But there was nothing I could do about it now. I just needed to focus.
And maybe I could have one less set of credit hours my final semester, though I didn’t think that would happen.
“Hey, Mac,” Hunter said as he walked by.
I closed my eyes and counted to five, telling myself I couldn’t beat somebody up just because they were annoying.
“Hunter,” I said.
“Did you find a new advisor yet?” he asked, a grin on his face.
The math department wasn’t that big, so of course, everybody knew that I was scrambling. I couldn’t hide it from them, even though it wasn’t any of their business.
“I have a meeting today. Everything’s fine.”
It was my last meeting before I was forced to go to the professor I didn’t want to work with. It seemed nobody could fit me in, not with the time and budget constraints we were working with. And while I understood, I still hated Dr. Michaels. He had lied to me—flat out. I hadn’t been making up the idea that he had accepted me. But there was nothing I could do about it now. It wasn’t like I could force him to work with me. He just wanted Hunter and the Williams’ family connections. It wasn’t lost on me that Hunter’s family contributed to the school. They donated a lot to the campus, so Hunter basically got to do whatever he wanted. And I got to pretend that I wasn’t bitter about it. At least, in public. I could be upset when talking with the girls or Pacey.
They understood.
“Good luck. I’m sure you’ll find something. Or you could switch to a major you’ll actually succeed at. You don’t have to keep trying at this.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Thanks for the pep talk.”
“I’m just trying to help.”
“You’re not. And I don’t know what you have against me. We’re not even going for the same things after school.”
It honestly surprised me that he’d even stuck with the math major. For all Hunter’s faults, and there were many of them, he was still a genius. I couldn’t deny