have agreed to go on the date at all. It made Owen feel like I didn’t care about him. But the date meant nothing to me, and I assumed Owen would understand that.
Wasn’t it the same with Hamelin!, though? He and Cass knew their kiss meant nothing, but I still got upset about it.
I felt afraid then. There was something wrong with me. Why couldn’t I navigate social situations like other people did? Why hadn’t I realized how horribly the date would upset Owen?
The door to my lab sprang open, interrupting my thoughts. Ishmael strolled inside.
“So, anyway, dude, check this out.”
“Don’t you ever knock?”
“You’re not going to like this,” Ishmael plowed ahead, “at least not right away. But hear me out.”
I instantly knew I was going to hate whatever Ishmael told me.
“I’ve been thinking about the hoax and how we need a next stage, you know? Something big. Something to keep people interested. Especially since Oz has the whole fountain of youth thing going on.”
“Okay…” I said cautiously.
“So I took matters into my own hands.”
“I don’t know what that means, and I’m afraid to ask.”
“I’ll show you,” Ishmael said.
I waited for him to pull out his phone and show me something online, but instead he left the lab, gesturing for me to follow. I found that even more frightening.
“What’s the—” I began.
I abruptly stopped, because there was no need to ask questions. Ten feet away, standing in the middle of the field, was a cow.
“Ishmael,” I said.
“Yeah, dude?”
“Why is there a cow here?”
“It’s the next stage of the hoax!”
I whirled toward my brother, not bothering to keep my anger in check. “We’re not mutilating a cow! How many times do I need to repeat that?”
“Actually,” Ishmael said, rubbing the back of his neck in an aw shucks way. “I agree with you. I was all into the idea at first, you know? But while we were on our way here, Muffin and I—”
“Muffin?”
“Yeah, that’s what I named her. Anyway, Muffin and I, like…bonded.”
“Wonderful, Ishmael,” I said. “That’s just wonderful.”
“I looked into her eyes, dude, and I realized, she’s like, a person.”
I rubbed my own eyes. “She’s not a person. She’s a cow.”
“Okay, not person. I mean she’s a being. She has thoughts and feelings. And I realized, no way could I kill her.”
I didn’t have a clue how to break down the current situation into something manageable.
“Why then,” I began slowly, “if you decided cow mutilations weren’t on the agenda, did you still bring her here?”
Ishmael shrugged. “We were most of the way home. And believe me, walking her here was not easy.”
Something occurred to me that I should’ve asked from the start.
“Ishmael, where did you walk her here from?”
“I thought I already said. The O’Grady farm.”
The O’Grady farm, where we’d made a crop circle. Owned by Mr. O’Grady, who’d chased us during our radio interference scheme.
I sat on the ground, not minding the dirt for once, and put my head in my hands. “No.”
“No what?”
“No, no, no.”
“Gideon?”
“You didn’t do this,” I moaned. “Please, tell me you didn’t steal David O’Grady’s cow.”
“Um…where else would I have gotten a cow? You can’t exactly buy them at the pet store.”
“You committed theft!” I snapped.
Ishmael frowned. “I think we both know this isn’t the only crime we’ve committed recently.”
“No,” I said. “Not we. You don’t get to use the word we right now. I had nothing to do with Muffin.”
“Besides, O’Grady has a bunch of cows. I doubt he’ll miss one.”
There was absolutely no way that was true. No way.
I looked at the cow. Part of me still couldn’t accept what I was seeing. “You have to take her back.”
Ishmael immediately shook his head. “No way. It took hours to get her here, dude. I mean, I used a rope for a leash, but it’s not like taking a dog for a walk.”
“No,” I said. “I wouldn’t assume a cow was leash trained.”
“Right. It was hard. I’m not taking her back.”
“You are,” I said, looking up at my brother from where I still sat on the ground.
“I’m not.”
“Ishmael. You have to take the cow back.”
The cow let out a long, loud moo. I cringed and hoped my parents didn’t have any of the windows open.
“She doesn’t even want to live there, dude. Mr. O’Grady is gonna slaughter Muffin. Do you get that?”
“He raises milk cows, not meat cows,” I said, digging my hands into the ground, resisting the urge to pull up grass by the fistful. “And you took Muffin with the intention