Hall, has long been a favorite among Lansburg residents, and October’s festivities didn’t disappoint.
After Henrietta Callahan won the grand prize—dinner for two at Doe Lake Resort—the crowd dispersed. For many bingo players, that was when the evening took an unusual turn.
Several Lansburg residents tuned into their favorite radio programs for the drive home, only to discover their radios no long worked properly. For a period of at least an hour, cars driving down Turtleback Road experienced radio interference such as static, distortion, or complete loss of signal.
Ufologist Arnie Hodges has made Lansburg his temporary home as he investigates the recent phenomena in town. Hodges claims radio interference is a common sign of an extraterrestrial encounter and encourages everyone who experienced it to contact a hypnotist about recovering repressed memories.
Though frightening to those involved, the event only had one injury: David O’Grady, farmer and longtime Lansburg resident, tripped and fell near the site of the radio interference. When asked why he had left the road, O’Grady said he’d been chasing a mysterious figure who bore a resemblance to past president John F. Kennedy.
Event: Driving Practice
Date: Oct. 7 (Sat.)
I dragged myself downstairs in the morning, feeling the aftereffects of my race through the woods: I hadn’t gotten enough sleep, my legs were sore, and I was covered in bug bites. If Ishmael felt even remotely as terrible as I did, he didn’t show it. He was already at the breakfast table, energetically chomping through a bowl of cereal.
Father sat across from him reading the paper, but tossed it aside when I entered the room. I noticed it wasn’t his usual sports section, but an article titled “Media Flocks to Lansburg.”
“You need breakfast before we go?” he asked.
I looked at him blankly. “Go where?”
“Driving. Your first lesson is today.”
Oh. Right.
Exactly what I was in the mood for.
Twenty minutes later, I sat in the driver’s seat of the Jeep. The vehicle felt approximately four times as large as it did from the passenger’s side. I wished desperately for a car that was less unwieldy.
I hadn’t had a say in the Jeep, though. When Gram bought the Cadillac, she offered her beat-up Jeep Wrangler to Ishmael and me. Yes, I should have been grateful for a free vehicle. But besides the daunting size, the Jeep was in deplorable condition because Gram was, quite possibly, the worst driver in Pennsylvania.
The men and women who frequented her poker games still teased her about the time she dropped a lit cigarette while driving and, in her distraction trying to find it, plowed into a bus stop.
I didn’t find the story funny for two reasons:
1. What if someone had been at the bus stop?
2. I was deeply afraid of making an error just as grievous.
“Did you adjust your mirrors?” Father asked, watching me from the passenger’s seat.
“I believe so.”
“You believe so?”
“I have excellent visibility with the rearview mirror. The side mirrors… I’m unsure of the optimal position. For instance, how much of my own vehicle should I be able to detect?” My fear was making me obnoxious, but I couldn’t stop myself. “Surely the Jeep should only take up a small fraction of the frame, yet that’s what’s giving me perspective, and without perspective the mirrors are useless.”
From the back seat, Ishmael loudly crunched through a bag of chips. “I’m so glad I came for this.”
Father gave Ishmael a look. “I can still send you into the house.”
“Sorry. I’ll be good.”
“You should see a small sliver of the car, but mostly road,” Father told me, twisting in his seat to look behind us. “What about the maple tree? Can you see it in your right mirror?”
“Not really.”
“Not really, or no?”
“Not really, Father. I see a fraction of it, but not the tree in its entirety.”
“Gideon. You need to relax.”
I scowled. “I’m relaxed.”
Ishmael snorted.
“Adjust your mirror to see the tree,” Father said.
I did as he asked, taking longer than necessary.
“Now turn the car on.”
I shakily turned the key and my heart dropped. What if, upon coming to life, the Jeep malfunctioned and flew straight into the side of the house?
That was an illogical thought. I knew it was illogical. Why did I forget everything I knew to be true when it came to motor vehicles?
“You know which pedal is which, right?”
I sighed. “Yes, Father. Of course I do.”
The mechanics of the Jeep weren’t the issue. I understood the theory behind driving, and I had basic knowledge of how the vehicle functioned. (I’d only gotten one question wrong on my permit