the house with her arms outstretched. I sink in, and immediately, I feel a little better. Blaire has that effect on me. She can lift my spirits very easily.
Mom is fussing over her with coffee and cookies, but eventually, they leave us alone to talk.
“Are you staying? I’ll ask Mom to make up the spare room,” I say when we settle into the couch together.
“No, I can’t stay, and I was hoping you wouldn’t either.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ve got two tickets for the spa. You know that beautiful resort you keep admiring when we drive out to the woods? I’ve booked us in for a day at their spa. Tomorrow. So it’s probably for the best if you come with me today.”
“A day at the spa?”
“It’ll be nice. We could both do with the treat, couldn’t we?”
I know Blaire is trying her best to make me feel better, but I’m not sure if this is the way. I’m not sure anyone can make me feel better if I can’t be with Kirk. She can see my expression changing and reaches for my hand.
“Come on, Kim, you deserve it. I’ve been working my ass off too, so I also deserve it. Besides, it’s not like you’ve got your hands full,” she says with a chuckle, and I can’t help but smile too.
Maybe she’s right. Maybe this is exactly what I need. The only thing is…I haven’t been looking forward to returning to the city, knowing Kirk is there. There is very little chance of us accidentally bumping into each other, of course, but just knowing he’s nearby is heartbreaking.
“I don’t know if I can…” I manage to squeak, and Blaire stands up with a jerk.
“You can and you will, Kim, for the sake of this baby. You’ll have to make many brave decisions in your journey as a mother, so let’s start with this one. We can’t cancel fun because of Kirk Silvers.”
Blaire looks determined. I know I’m not going to be able to change her mind on this. I don’t think I want to. She’s right. I can’t let Kirk dictate the rest of my life.
Blaire and I go back to the city. I’m going to be staying at her apartment for tonight and the next. After that, I’m catching a train back home again.
For a few hours while we drive and the music is blasting in the car and the wind is in our hair—I am able to forget everything. We’re singing songs, laughing and being carefree. This reminds me of the old times when we had just become friends and it felt like neither of us had any care in the world. Before I met Kirk. Before she got so busy with work. Before I got pregnant.
Then we enter the city and drive to her apartment building, and everything is beginning to sink in.
This is the reality—I am going to be a struggling single mother in love with the man my child looks like. It’s too complicated to even wrap my brain around.
“Kim, tell me what’s on your mind. Maybe I can help,” Blaire offers.
I turn to her. I’ve been keeping something from her. Something I should have told her a long time ago. Maybe this will completely change her perception of me, but she needs to know.
“I have never wanted a career,” I blurt.
Blaire is almost smiling, she looks confused.
“What are you talking about?”
“You know all that time I’ve wasted feeling lost and not being able to pinpoint what I really want to do, while life has passed me by—that’s because I’ve never actually wanted a job. I could never admit it to anyone because they would think I’m a freak.”
“Okay…” she murmurs. I knew she would find it strange. Blaire is the opposite of that. She is smart and ambitious. A woman who is paving her own way in the world.
“What do you want to do if you don’t want a career?” she asks.
I can feel myself blushing. Even though I’m trying to be true to myself, I can’t help but feel embarrassed by what I’m admitting.
“I’ve always just wanted to be a mom. Raise a family. Live in a cute little house with a white picket fence, married to the man of my dreams.”
Blaire is staring at me like she can’t believe what I’m saying.
“I know how ridiculous it sounds. I promise I’m not crazy. I know that’s not what everyone expects from me. From someone who has done decently well in school and