my door.
Through the peephole, I see Chase in the hallway.
I really don’t want to see him right now. I thought it was over. I thought he got the message—I don’t have time for him in my life. No space for him either.
I pull the door open and stand blocking it this time so he’ll have to physically push past me if he wants to get in.
“Chase, seriously, what are you doing here?” I ask, rolling my eyes in frustration.
“I wanted to talk to you, Kim. We still haven’t talked about…everything.”
“I thought I made it pretty clear to you, Chase. We have nothing to talk about.”
“Can I come in?” he asks.
“No, you can’t.”
His eyes fall on the bags I’ve packed and placed next to the door. His brows furrow in surprise.
“Are you going somewhere?”
“Yes, I’m leaving town.” I say this as firmly as possible.
“What? Where are you going? Did you get a new job?”
The last thing I want to do is explain myself to him. I sigh and shake my head.
“It doesn’t matter, Chase. All you need to know is that we will probably not be seeing each other again. You should let it go.”
He takes a step towards me, and I don’t move. I’m forcing myself to hold my own and not be intimidated by him.
“What if I don’t want to let it go, Kim? I realize what a big mistake I’ve made. I was horrible to you. I didn’t respect you. I should have held on to you when I had the chance.”
I gulp. There are lumps in my throat that I’m trying to push down. I can’t help but wonder how different my story would be right now if we hadn’t broken up. If Chase hadn’t been mean to me. Would Kirk and I have met? Would I have fallen for him?
I feel like it was inevitable. I couldn’t have denied my feelings for Kirk no matter who I was with at the time.
“Thank you for saying that, Chase, and I’m sure I made some mistakes in our relationship too, but it’s over now.”
“It doesn’t have to be…” he suggests and reaches for my hand. I pry it away from him.
“Chase, you should leave,” I say.
“What can I do to make you stay, Kim?” he asks.
“Nothing. You can’t make me stay. I’m going. Today. Please, Chase, don’t do this.”
I’m begging him not to beg me.
His face darkens, and I’m afraid for a moment that he’s going to hurt me. Charge at me. Physically force himself into my apartment, but instead, he falls down on his knees in front of me and wraps his arms around my legs.
I’m so shocked for the first few moments that I don’t even notice the sobs.
I have my hands held up in surrender. I don’t want to touch him, but Chase refuses to let go. He has broken down in not-so-gentle sobs while he clings to me, and I don’t know what to do about it.
It’s Blaire’s voice that alerts me, snapping me out of this daze.
“What the hell is going on here?” she hisses.
Chase turns, and I’m able to slip away from him. He slowly stands up and rubs a hand over his face.
“I just wanted to talk to Kim and make her see that we’re meant to be together,” he says.
Blaire eyes me, and with one look, she can sense my opinion on this. I want him to leave, and that is all she needs to know.
“You can’t be here. You’re encroaching on Kim’s privacy. You have to give her space.”
“But you know what I mean, right, Blaire? You’ve always claimed to want what is best for her, so tell her that’s me. I’m the best thing that can happen to her.”
It is really quite sad and pathetic to see Chase act like this. I’m seeing him in a new light I wouldn’t have expected from him. There’s a part of me that wants to invite him in and give him a blanket and some soup. Another part of me reminds me that I don’t have to feel responsible for him.
“Actually, I never thought you two made a good couple, so I’m sorry, Chase, but I’m not going to encourage this. Especially not after your behavior here.”
Blaire steps closer to me, almost shielding me with her body. Chase looks at her and then me. His eyes are bloodshot.
“That guy doesn’t give a shit about you,” he growls. I know he’s talking about Kirk.
“It’s not for you to decide,” Blaire cuts in,