consider going for a drink, maybe texting a few friends so we can make a night of it. Anything that would keep her off my mind.
But I don’t. Instead, I get in my car and drive straight to my apartment. I need to be alone.
Alone with my thoughts of Kim.
I strip down immediately in my bedroom and head for the shower. I am hoping this will help me calm down. I really need calming down.
Has a cold shower ever actually worked for anyone?
I stick to hot water. It washes over me, stinging my skin because I’ve turned it on too high. When I close my eyes against the water, her face floats up before me. Her beautiful face with those big green eyes. Her honey-blond hair. The smile she tries to hide when my gaze drifts to her.
I would love to know what she’s thinking. I would love to get inside her head and find out if she wants me the way I want her. It seems impossible.
She is so young. So sexy. With her whole life ahead of her. I am over a decade older than her, and yet I feel like I still don’t have my act together. I still have a long way to go before I understand what I want.
But Kim…her delicately petite body. My hand travels down to my cock. I didn’t realize I’ve been hard this whole time. I try not to, but I am fantasizing about her. Kim in this shower with me. Her body slick with water, her mouth parted the way she had it when she was in my arms. Her eyelids heavy, her eyes dark, her narrow fingers flitting over my chest, reaching for my cock.
And now I’m racked with guilt.
One after the other, the hits just keep on coming. As if holding Kim to my chest, in my arms, being inches away from kissing her—wasn’t bad enough. Now I’ve spent the last half hour fantasizing about her riding my cock.
I dry myself and change into fresh clothes. What the fuck am I going to do?
I have never crossed this line with anyone before. All these years, I have managed to live my professional life upholding the most professional standards. There have been many attractive women that have crossed my career path, but I have kept it in my pants around all of them.
Not even in the privacy of my thoughts have I allowed myself to drift in that direction. So how did I slip up now? What is it about Kim Waters that made me weak enough to lose control over myself?
How am I going to make sure it never happens again?
I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, contemplating all the possible options open to me now. When my phone rings, I’m startled.
I’m half expecting Kim to be calling me. Why would she? She has never called me outside office hours.
It isn’t her. It’s my lawyer.
“What news do you have for me?” I ask him, and he sighs.
“I’m not sure if it’s looking good for us, Kirk. The legal speak in the contracts are all ironclad. They could take you to town if you went against their wishes.”
“I am the most valuable member of this organization. They can’t dictate my life like this.”
“According to them, if you continue to take these risks, you’re not going to have much of a life left to dictate.”
I roll my eyes as I flip back on the bed.
“This is bullshit.”
“I’m all for living your life the way you want to,” he says. “But maybe you should listen to the board on this one.”
“And never do the things I enjoy doing? What kind of a life is that?”
“You could retire?” he suggests.
“I could quit. I could find a different place that would appreciate me more.”
“I’m not sure how many organizations would be open to you risking your life like this. They have a stake in you.”
“Maybe I’ll start my own thing.”
“Yes, you could do that.”
“Or I could leave all this behind and just move to Brazil like I always planned to do.”
My lawyer sighs. He knows I’m pushing it too far. I know it’s ridiculous too. As much as my life revolves around extreme sports, it revolves around my work too. If I don’t have an office to go to, I’ll feel completely without purpose, and what is the point of that?
I end the call soon after. He has given me a lot to think about. All of a sudden, it feels like