part of me that regrets stopping and walking away that night. But there is also a part of me that knows I did the right thing.
I draw in a deep breath, and she braces herself. She knows I’m preparing to answer her question.
“I stopped because what you said snapped me out of it. I lost my manners and forgot myself for a while, until I was reminded of how wildly unprofessional my behavior was. I shouldn’t have started it. I shouldn’t have kissed you, and for that, I apologize.”
Kim’s eyes have doubled in size. It’s like she can’t believe the words coming out of my mouth.
Just when I think she’s going to say something to that, she nods and turns to walk away. That’s it? This is the end of our conversation?
“If I hadn’t stopped…” I begin, and she slowly turns to face me again. “Would you have given your virginity to me?”
Now it is my turn to be in complete shock of what is coming out of my mouth.
Kim’s jaw loosens, and she stares at me with her mouth parted. At first, I think I’ve offended her, and then I see hints of a smile curling her luscious pink lips.
“I guess now you will never know,” she replies and turns to the door and walks out.
Once she’s gone, I realize I’ve been holding my breath this whole time. I jump off my chair and turn to the glass wall behind me so I can stare out at the city’s skyline.
Of all the answers she could have given me! I shouldn’t even have asked that question, I know, but she shouldn’t have given me that answer either.
I clench my jaw and my fists, pushing them into my pockets. I need to get a hold of myself. I need to keep reminding myself it’s over. It will never happen again. I can’t let it happen again.
Kim is gone by the time Blaire shows up at my office. Reception sends her up and she walks in with a big smile on her face.
“Kim left?” she asks first, and I can sense she’s hoping her friend isn’t around.
“You just missed her,” I reply. The guilt is rising in me again. Blaire looks around, still smiling brightly as she takes a seat across from me.
“You said you had something to discuss with me,” I say, leaning forward and weaving my fingers together on the desk.
She shrugs.
“Nothing in particular. It’s not a biggie. I just wanted to find out how things are going with Kim.”
“What has she said?” I ask, and Blaire’s smile gets wider.
“She doesn’t like to talk much about work, so I don’t actually know how she feels. Whatever little she’s told me sounds positive.”
“Isn’t that all you need to know?” I ask, and Blaire rolls her eyes.
“She’s not just another one of my clients who I’ve placed in a job, Kirk. Kim is a friend. One of my closest friends, and I don’t want her to feel like she has to stick it out in this job because she’s obligated to.”
“Are you saying there’s no possible way that she could be happy in this job?” I ask.
Blaire sits back in her chair and sighs loudly.
“You have always known exactly how to twist my words around and make them seem just wrong.”
“I’m not twisting your words, Blaire. I’m just wondering why you disbelieve her when she’s told you she’s happy here.”
I’m speaking as firmly as I can. I have to work hard at keeping Blaire off my back. The last thing I need is to drop any hints about what is really going on between Kim and me.
Blaire tips her head to the side, watching me intently.
“I don’t disbelieve her, Kirk. I just want what is best for her, and believe it or not, I want what is best for you too. But why do I get the feeling that, for some reason, neither of you want to discuss this job with me?”
I can feel myself cracking. I stare back at Blaire, holding her gaze, but I can feel a lump forming in my throat now. Blaire has always been good at detecting what’s going on under the surface. Now more than ever, I need to find a way to conceal myself from her.
“It is all in your head, Blaire,” I reply, quickly breaking eye contact to shuffle some papers on my desk.
She’s still watching me with her hawk eyes. Then she draws in a deep breath and says, “Come on, Kirk. Spit