in two years. When she wouldn’t answer my calls or text messages, or even confirm she received the book of Neruda poems I mailed to her, as hard as it was, I had to let it go. I messed up, and she shut me out. I told myself I’d try again when she finished college and moved here to LA. Rhys and Bristol kept in touch and made progress over the last two years. Now, she’s here to do what she said she would—manage Rhyson’s music career.
I’ve entered Grady’s house more times than I can count, but I’ve never felt nervous crossing this threshold. Like can’t-eat-need-a-drink nervous. And there hasn’t been anyone to really talk to about this. I know Bristol didn’t tell Rhys what happened between us, and I took my cue from her. How we resolve this is our business, no on else’s. I hope once we get this shit sorted, once she understands, we can see if there’s anything left of what we started two years ago. If it’s even worth trying. It wasn’t long enough to be love. It’s too deep, and I’m too old for a crush. It’s too raw for infatuation. I may not be able to put a name to it, but it didn’t vacate the premises when Bristol left. I can’t evict it.
The living room is packed, crowded with people I don’t think Bristol knows. They’re our friends, and all they know is that Rhyson’s sister is moving to LA. I walk in on some joke already punch lined because everyone is laughing. I slip in, wanting to go unnoticed. Jimmi immediately makes that impossible.
“Grip!” She unfolds herself from the cross-legged pose on the floor and throws herself at me. “I wondered where you were.”
I squeeze Jimmi but look over her shoulder and directly into Bristol’s silvery eyes. Only for a second before she looks away and dives back into a conversation as if I don’t exist. But that second tells me a lot. It’ll take more than an apology to fix things between us. She looked right through me as if I wasn’t there. As if she wished I weren’t.
She looks even better than before. Her hair is shorter and sits just above her shoulders instead of down her back. Her face looks leaner, like something chiseled all the illusions away from the soft flesh and striking bones, sharpening her. Black jeans, high-heeled boots, and a silk blouse that leaves her arms and shoulders bare and ties behind her neck. She had a high shine before, but now there’s something more polished about her. The sophistication gleams even brighter. It could have been that big-time internship she got with Sound Management in New York. Or maybe she just grew up.
“Dude.” Rhyson stands, too, coming to dap me up and grin. “How’d the session go?”
“Good.” My eyes stray to Bristol, who is still in deep conversation with a small group of people. “We knocked out both verses in no time.”
“Nice.” Rhyson glances at his phone and grimaces. “I’m still waiting on that call from the label.”
“For real?” I reassure him with a grin, though I know I can’t un- knot his stomach or calm his nerves while he waits to hear back from the record label considering signing him. “They’ll call.”
Rhyson’s finally ready to perform again, but he’s going back in as a contemporary artist instead of a classical pianist.
After a few minutes, I work my way over to the circle of conversation Bristol is embroiled in. I even take an empty spot on the couch facing her, restricting myself to a few furtive glances, though I’d rather stare.
“So, Bris,” Luke, our friend from high school says. “What are you gonna do while you wait for Rhyson to make it big?”
“I’m not sure I’m ‘waiting’ for him to make it big.” Bristol’s laugh is husky and assured. “I think it’ll be my job to ensure he makes it big.”
She rakes her hair, cut into its stylish bob, back from her face. “But I’m doing some stuff with Sound Management’s LA office while we work toward our goals.” She goes to take a sip of her white wine, only to find it empty. “I’ll be back. I’m grabbing a refill.”
She doesn’t acknowledge me, but stands and heads toward the kitchen. I could let this go. She’s sending me clear signals. It’s unlikely she wants to take up where we left off in the ocean that night, but my whole life has been a