much to me. It’s needy and weak and I hate it about myself.”
Emotion blurs her eyes with tears.
“I knew you were one of those people, Grip. That you had one of those spots, and when I saw how giving that kind of power to the wrong man has destroyed my mother, I just couldn’t risk it with you.”
Hearing her refer to me as “the wrong man” hurts, but I understand her caution. I just hate it took this long for her to trust me. Or for me to prove myself to her.
“I guess it didn’t help that I’ve been smashing everything that moves since you came back to LA.” I tear a slice of pizza into crusty confetti.
“And guys in your line of work aren’t known for staying faithful.” “I ain’t gonna lie. You know I’ve had my fair share of . . .”
Ass.
“Fair share of girls,” I amend. “But I promise you I always let one go before I grabbed another.”
“You’re not helping your case,” she says wryly.
She’s probably right. I should move on. “What changed your mind?” I ask.
She shrugs, picking pepperoni from her side of the pizza and chewing it slowly.
“I think seeing you with Qwest was a big part of it.” Her lashes shield her eyes from me. “And Rhys calling me a coward.”
“He knew about this?” I’m stunned for a moment. He wouldn’t have let me suffer for years this way.
“Only a few days ago. He confronted me about it when things started falling apart between you and me. When I wasn’t with you for the release, he kept digging until he figured out what I felt.”
That’s my boy! I owe him something overpriced or inebriating.
“I still have reservations.” She draws her legs up to her chest, resting her chin on her knees. “We’ve only been together once, and I already feel like it would be impossible to walk away.”
Her admission is a huge step, one I relish, but I think she’s looking at this all wrong.
“Bristol, having the capacity to love that way, as fiercely as you do, is not in and of itself a weakness.”
She doesn’t reply, but that curiosity that first drew me to her sparks behind her eyes.
“My mom has it.” I chuckle and shift to lie on my side, propped up on my elbow. “I think every strength has a dark side, can be a weakness. She’s learned to manage hers.”
I think of how hard it will be for Ma to accept my relationship with Bristol because of her desire to see me with a Black woman. Or Latina. She did say brown was a color.
“Well, she’s learned to manage most of her weaknesses.” I shake my head. “There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for me. She always said sacrifice is the essence of love. It was the same for her sisters and her brothers, but I saw her draw lines, set limits as she got older and more mature. She didn’t take shit from anybody, especially if it affected me.”
I lift up to lay a soft kiss on her lips, and she opens up, tangling her tongue with mine for a few seconds before I pull back.
“And you won’t take shit, either, not even from me.” I cup one side of her face. “Not that you have to worry.”
I rest my forehead against hers.
“Bris, you have to know how crazy I am about you.”
The lingering uncertainty in her eyes tells me, as much as I’ve chased her, showing all my cards for years, she doesn’t really know. She doesn’t know it’s her and no one else. And who can blame her with my dick waving like the state flag for the last few years?
“The thing you think is your greatest weakness,” I assure her. “Is your greatest strength. That capacity to love, everyone doesn’t have it. That grit to fight for the people who mean the most to you, it’s priceless.”
“You think so?” she asks softly, not looking away from my face.
“I know so, and I feel honored that I have one of those spots in your heart.” I lay a palm against her neck. “I promise I won’t abuse it. You can trust me.”
She closes the space separating us, taking my chin between her lips, meandering over my jaw and finally touching my mouth with hers.
“You know what I want?” Her question lands on my lips in a husky breath.
“Yeah. Me, too.”
I sit up, reaching for her, my dick solid as a rock, but I come up with