would work hard, it could be mine, there’s no telling where I’d be today. I don’t want other people’s biases and this country’s broken systems and roadblocks to get in their way.”
Passion, conviction, and cynicism mingle in his voice.
“Hell, it didn’t get in my way, and I had nothing. I want them to be waymakers, Bris, people who explore this world, never thinking it can’t be theirs. That’s what I tell him . . . or her.”
I close my eyes, not to sleep, but to relish this man, this wonderful man who is the epicenter of my world.
“You’re gonna be an amazing father.” I drop my head back to rest in the curve of his neck and shoulder.
“I want to be,” he says. “My dad sucked.”
I don’t hear any pain or bitterness. I’ve never seen holes in Grip that his father should have filled.
“When I was little, I did wonder sometimes why my father didn’t stick around,” he continues, as if answering a question he heard my mind forming. “But my mom didn’t give me time to personalize it. She didn’t keep it a secret or avoid talking about it. She just always made it about him, not a reflection of me. She used to say, ‘Poor thing. That damn fool is missing out on you. Oh well, his loss. More Marlon for me.’”
I lift our hands to my lips, smiling and kissing them.
“She’d say he was gonna look up one day and see a star in the sky that was so far out of his reach, and he’d know that was his son, that could have been his. She assumed from the beginning I’d be something great.”
His takes our hands, still linked, and rests them over the small protrusion of my belly.
“Dwell in possibility,” I whisper, understanding it better now. Grip’s mouth curves into a smile against my neck as he speaks. “There was never any doubt.”
Chapter 34
Grip
I THINK I BROKE HER.
Bristol fell asleep almost as soon as she climbed onto this examination table in the doctor’s office, and she hasn’t even twitched. Me and my randy ass, hard before the sun was even up, wanting to have sex instead of letting her sleep.
We didn’t use the main entrance, but arranged to enter through the back and come in here instead of the waiting room, but we still have to wait like everybody else for Dr. Wagner, Bristol’s OB-GYN, to finish with the patient before us. While we wait, Bristol sleeps. I’m mentally lecturing me and my dick on being more considerate in the future when Darla the ultrasound technician comes in.
She’s spreading some kind of clear jelly on our little baby bump. Bristol’s eyes pop open for a second, but then she drifts right back into deep sleep.
“She’s really out, huh?” Darla asks with a smile.
“Yeah.” I crook my mouth into a grin. “I’ve never known her to sleep this much. She usually works around the clock, but can barely get through the day without a nap now.”
“Not unusual.” Darla rolls the wand over Bristol’s belly, eyes trained on the screen. “Most mothers . . .”
Her words and her smile dissolve, her gaze sharpening on the ultrasound.
“Everything okay?” I ask, unease crawling over my skin.
“Um, sure.” Darla blinks a few times and shoots me a farce of a smile. She reaches up and presses a button that takes the screen dark. “I’ll be right back.”
“What’s going on?” I demand, keeping my voice low, not wanting to disturb Bristol, but she wakes anyway.
“What’d I miss?” she asks drowsily, rubbing her eyes and sitting up. Darla gently presses Bristol’s shoulder back until she’s lying down again.
“Nothing yet. I just need to check on one thing. I’ll be right back.” She stands and crosses over to the door. “We’ll wake you when it’s time.”
And she’s gone.
The hell.
“Is everything okay?” Bristol is now fully alert, her eyes darting from my face to the door Darla closed behind her. I’m up on my feet and at the door, too. “Where are you going?”
“Piss break.” I glance at her over my shoulder, ordering my face at ease. “I’m gonna drain the snake before Darla gets back.”
She rolls her eyes, but her brows bend with lingering concern. “You sure everything’s okay?”
“Yeah, babe. I’ll be back.”
I walk swiftly up the hall, stopping when I see Darla and our doctor talking outside what I assume is her office or another examining room.
“Hey,” I say, walking up on them. “What’s going on?”
Two startled faces turn to me.
“Mr. James,”