at the moment.
“You’re perfect,” he said, finally breaking the kiss to press his forehead to mine. I was still a little annoyed about the fact that he was always the one who broke it first, but if it was up to me, we’d both be dead, so that wasn’t really fair. “You’re perfect, and you’re mine.”
I clenched my jaw, trying to bite back the tears burning my eyes, but it was no use. I’d never been in control of myself around Rafael. Maybe that was why it was so damn easy to hand that control over to him.
“You’re full of shit,” I said with a choked laugh. “But that sounds nice.”
“Guess you’ll just have to take my word for it,” he whispered against my lips. “Every day, for the rest of our lives.”
The promise jarred me out of the illusion, and I looked up at him in disbelief. “I never said I was coming back.”
“I know,” he said, stroking my hair behind my ear. “But I’m not leaving your side again. If you want to stay with Sterling and his Organic Animal Crackers, they’ll just have to deal with it.”
“You can’t do that,” I protested. “For one thing, Jacob could tear you in half, and for another, Dante’s Infernal needs you. Aren’t you supposed to be playing a concert right now?”
“First, that’s bullshit. He could snap me in half at best,” he said in a deadpan tone I’d missed like hell. “Second, the only place I need to be is right here with you.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Telling me what I think now? Your training really has come undone.”
I rolled my eyes, still trying to grasp at all the reasons this was nonsense that were already plaguing me. “You’ll change your mind. I’m not worth it.”
“You’re everything,” he corrected, taking my face firmly between his hands and staring me down in that way that left me feeling blissfully hollow, because there was no longer room for anything but him. “The band can get someone else, but you’re the one thing I can’t replace, and I’m never letting you go again, so get that through your Ativan-marinated skull.”
More tears slid down my cheeks when I tried to laugh, but he wouldn’t let me go. I finally just accepted that I didn’t want him to and wrapped my arms around him, because pretending like I wasn’t the same clingy, lovesick fool took too much energy. “So what does that make us?” I finally asked, pulling away to look up at him. “Friends with benefits? Pup and Master?”
He paused to consider it. “None of that fully describes what I want to be to you, but I think ‘boyfriend’ works for now.”
My heart thumped against my chest like it was trying to get out. “Yeah. I think I could get used to the sound of that.”
Chapter 27
Rafael
I’d gone months without so much as a text message from Chaz, so now that he was actually talking to me, it should’ve been easier to give him space.
It wasn’t.
Organic Animal’s tour was on pause, so we were both back in Los Angeles, and I had managed to resist booking a U-Haul to bring all his shit to my apartment, but that was pretty much the limit of my willpower.
The band was playing a gig that night, the first since the festival, but my head just wasn’t in it. If it wasn’t a charity thing, I would’ve sent someone to fill in, but I wasn’t about to bail on the three-legged dogs or whatever cause Dante was supporting that week.
Besides, we were already on our fifth fill-in bassist, and when I showed up backstage to find he’d bailed at the last minute, I wasn’t really surprised. Neither were Dante and Cash, because they were both giving me pointed looks.
“What?” I asked defensively. “I didn’t even say anything rude to this one.”
“No, you just kept calling him Carl,” Cash said, folding his arms.
“So? Everyone gets names mixed up.”
“His name was Jaxxon,” said Dante. “Not really that close.”
“Oh, right, the porn name,” I mused. I’d forgotten to text Chaz about that one, so I sent one really quick before I got dressed. He’d definitely get a kick out of that.
Maybe he’d even take pity on us enough to come back. He’d given an interview last week saying this would be his first and last tour with Organic Animal, because he was taking some time off for health reasons, but I was trying not to assume anything else. Hell, if he wanted