hadn’t asked. I wasn’t sure whether I was a worse dom or a worse friend, but I’d probably win an award for both. Even so, I knew I’d just drag him down even more right now, whatever was bothering him.
If I didn’t get my shit together in the next two hours before I had to get ready for the wedding, I didn’t know what I was going to do, so I took out my guitar like I always did when I felt like I was about to blow.
Despite speaking three languages fluently, I’d never been good with words that didn’t follow a melody. If it couldn’t be packaged and sold, I was at a loss, so it was no surprise that the one time I’d tried actually venting my feelings through words rather than guitar alone was a total disaster.
I’d never actually written anything down. It felt way too pathetic to enshrine in any semi-permanent fashion, but the broken lyrics were never far from my conscious mind. Maybe if I actually gave them a defined form by finishing the song, they’d leave me alone. Like laying a vengeful spirit to rest.
It wasn’t like anyone was around to hear.
You’re more than everything.
The ocean’s in your eyes and the moon on your skin
You’re my nightmare and my dreaming
The way I love you the cruelest sin
You’re a reborn Dionysus
And I’m just a fool who’s left in crisis
Every time you look my way
I want to hold you
I want to show you
I want to own you the way you own me
But you can’t own the sun
Or buy the moon
So I guess I’ll just write this song
And face my doom
But I’ll love every second along the way
Even if you’re only mine for a day...
My hands went still when I realized the person I was singing to wasn’t Dante anymore.
It was Chaz.
Maybe this was a bad idea, after all. I’d hoped getting the song out of my head would leave more room to clear it, but the opposite had happened. My feelings were more jumbled and confusing than ever, but for once, it wasn’t just because of Dante.
Chapter 17
Chaz
When I got a call from Alicia asking me to meet at her label while I was in town, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Seeing her was kind of awkward since she hadn’t gotten back to me about the song, but I owed her.
“Chaz!” she cried, walking into her office where her secretary had told me to wait. She threw her arms around me and squeezed so tightly I couldn't breathe. “It’s been such a long time, I can’t believe you’re here!”
“One of us was bound to be in Vegas or LA eventually,” I said, hugging her back. “How’ve you been?”
“Oh, same bullshit, different label,” she said with a heavy sigh.
“Don’t tell me you miss Drake,” I said, grinning.
She scoffed a laugh and motioned for me to sit down. “Please. Anyway, I didn’t ask you here to talk about my career. Yours, on the other hand…”
“What do you mean?” I asked, frowning.
She stared at me for a few seconds, like she was waiting for me to say I was joking. “What do I mean? I’m talking about the songs!”
“Oh, that,” I said, running a hand through my hair. And here’ I’d hoped to get through the reunion without it coming up. “Sorry, I shouldn’t even have sent those. They’re --”
“Brilliant,” she said before I could finish, leaning in with an excited gleam in her eyes I knew too well. It was the same look as when she’d announced she was taking a job with our label’s biggest competitor. “I wanted to talk to you earlier, but work has been crazy and I didn’t want to get it back to you without having the EP polished.”
“EP?” I echoed in confusion. “I just sent you the one song.”
She tilted her head. “There were five in the file I got.”
My heart started pounding like one of Cash’s drum solos. I’d sent the wrong file, the one with all my rejects? Fuck, I must’ve been drunk off my ass. “Please tell me one of them wasn’t titled ‘Pieces of You’?”
“That was my favorite!” she said, smiling wide. “You’re still the same self-conscious kid from the suburbs at heart, aren’t you? With a little tweaking and some background vocals, that shit would go straight to number one.”
My face was already beet red at the thought of Alicia and whoever else she’d shared it with listening to my innermost angst. “That’s nice of you