the play and not behind it.
Timing has been a huge issue for Kearson since last season. She’s always getting caught flat-footed. Always the last to see what’s coming. Not only on the field but in life too. She’s been burned just as many times on breakaways as she has by people she thought she could trust. Her reflexes are set on a frustrating time delay, her intuition suffocated by her overthinking.
And yet, somehow Kearson knew what Phoebe was about to do before she did it, anticipated exactly what was coming before it came. It’s a slight edge, gained perhaps because Kearson herself had been thinking about quitting the team since the girls hit up Waffle House; the words were already in her mouth. That Kearson would get to save Phoebe from having to speak them was all she needed to act.
Kearson lets out a sigh of deep relief. And then she steps over and wraps Phoebe in a big hug.
Phoebe is stiff with shock. “You can’t quit. I was going to quit.”
Kearson laughs, wipes her eyes. “I know.” She’s smiling. “Now you don’t have to.”
“Um, hello! Neither of you is quitting!” Mel says, throwing her hands up.
But Kearson is insistent. “Phoebe, I’m so sorry. I never wanted to make things harder for you. You should be focused on having a great senior season and getting a scholarship. I don’t want my being here to mess with your head.”
“Hold on, hold on. If anything, I’m the one who owes you an apology. I’ve been a really shitty teammate. Believe me, even when I was being a bitch to you, I hated myself for it. If you quit, I’ll never forgive myself. And … look at me.”
Mel nods. “Last season you were given a spot on this team. This season, you earned it. You deserve to be here.”
“Plus, do I look like I’m in any shape to play tomorrow? Our team is going to need you!”
Kearson looks out at the rest of the girls. “I’ve caused so much trouble for this team. More than you girls even know.”
Phoebe eyes her. “What do you mean?”
Kearson feels her chin quiver. She lowers her head. “My mom called the athletic director and made a complaint about Coach at the end of the season. She tried to get him fired.”
Blurred in her periphery, the entire team exchanges uneasy looks. She wouldn’t blame them if they asked her to pack up her stuff and leave right now. She’d have to call her mother to be picked up.
No. She’ll just find someplace to go until morning. Maybe a park or something.
The girls begin to speak.
“Honestly? I’m surprised no one has complained before with the way he acts sometimes.”
“I used to think it was funny. The looks other teams gave us when Coach would lose his shit.”
“Oh my God, me too. I took this weird pride in it. Like it made us tougher than them.”
“This is my third year and I still get freaked out by how upset he gets.”
Kearson allows herself a small smile of relief. Someone puts a hand on Kearson’s shoulder. Mel.
“I get why you feel bad, but you really shouldn’t, Kearson. The girls are right. Everyone knows that’s Coach’s thing. Which is why I doubt Coach’s job was ever really in jeopardy,” Mel says, her voice getting warmer, brighter. “Plus we all know not to take it personally. It’s his way to motivate. I’m not saying it’s the best way, but it’s his way, and it has worked. We work harder than other teams because he pushes harder.” She sighs. “That’s something I think is tough for people to understand. From the outside looking in, it seems cruel. From inside we understand what Coach is trying to do.”
Kearson bites her lip. “It wasn’t just Coach’s yelling. My mom was upset about something else.” She sinks down on the floor.
The brightness on Mel’s face dims. “Oh. Okay.”
Ali hugs a pillow to her chest. “Do you want to talk about it, Kearson? You don’t have to. But … it might help.”
Kearson takes a deep breath. She doesn’t have to tell them, but the crazy thing is that she wants to. She knows the girls won’t spin her story into something bigger than it is … like her mother did. Nor will Kearson have to tell a watered-down version of events to not trigger any alarm bells … like she had to with the athletic director. And she won’t have to worry about anyone taking secret gleeful delight