the movies doesn’t have an expiration date, so if you ever get divorced, you can always look me up.”
“I’m taking my wedding vows pretty seriously—the whole ’til death do us part thing. Besides, he’s got a huge dick, so you know, lots of incentive to stick around.” Violet cringes, likely because she’s gone too far with her sharing.
“Right. Yeah. The, uh, condom endorsements made that pretty obvious. I guess if you’re looking to downsize to something more average, I could be your man.” He takes a step back, toward the door.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Fred’s pager goes off, and he blows out a breath. “It was really nice to see you, Violet. Hopefully I’ll deliver flowers again here soon.” He continues to back out of the office, knocking his elbow against the doorjamb. He frees one of his hands from his pockets so he can wave and disappears down the hall.
Before I can say anything, he peeks his head in the office again. “Oh, those flowers should be in direct sunlight. They’ll last longer that way.”
“Thanks, Fred.”
“Okay. Well, bye.” He disappears again.
Violet waits a few seconds before she tiptoes across my office, but she’s wearing heels, so she’s not stealthy or coordinated about it. She almost trips and falls into the hallway. She manages to catch the doorjamb before she goes down and sticks her head into the hall.
“Coast is clear, but the hallway smells like an entire high school of teenage boys doused themselves in cologne at the same time.” She smacks her lips together as we open all the windows in my office. “I’m probably going to taste that for the rest of the day.”
It’s not particularly warm out, but I’d rather freeze my nipples off than continue huffing cologne. I suck in several lungfuls of fresh air. “I think my olfactory senses are destroyed. Who the hell was that guy?”
“He used to deliver Alex’s flowers when I lived in the pool house.”
“Oh my God! I remember him! Didn’t he ask you out right after you told him you’d had Alex’s dick in your mouth?”
“That’s the one.”
“I don’t remember his cologne problem being that bad before.” I have to dab under my eyes to wipe away the tears since they’re still stinging.
“Maybe it’s gotten worse over time, like prolonged exposure to the flowers has made him incapable of smelling things.” Violet motions to the bouquet. “Are those from Darren?”
“I don’t know. Maybe?” I pluck the card from the bouquet, which is almost entirely comprised of yellow flowers with a few pinks and oranges thrown in. It’s like a sunrise. I dab my eyes again, telling myself it’s because they still sting from the cologne.
I slip the card out of its tiny yellow envelope. Darren’s neat writing fills the space.
A little something beautiful for my beautiful someone.
Violet’s chin rests on my shoulder. “Wow. That’s super sweet.”
“It really is.” And not like anything he’s ever done before. I mean, the flowers, yes. He surprised me with that bouquet and candy before, just never at work.
“Did you let him in your backdoor last night or something?”
“Seriously?” I elbow her and accidentally get her in the boob.
“Ow!” She staggers back, gripping it in both hands. “That really fucking hurt, Char!”
I roll my eyes. “Oh, come on.”
She keeps kneading her boob. “No, really. It feels like you tried to shave off my nipple with your pointy-ass elbow.” She looks down her shirt, as if she’s checking to make sure her nipple is indeed still attached to her body. “Remember how sore your boobs were when you were a teenager and they were just busting out?”
I shrug. “I guess.”
“It’s like that, but worse. They’ve been like this all week. Alex is getting frustrated that he can’t slide his dick between them.” She’s still kneading her boob with one hand and fingering the petals of a dahlia with the other. “I have a meeting in twenty, but I expect to hear all about what you did to inspire those flowers at lunch.” She nabs another granola bar from my desk and leaves me to it.
Darren calls before I have a chance to reach out and thank him for the flowers.
“I was about to message you,” I tell him.
“Were you now?”
I can almost see him smiling, and it makes my heart flutter.
“Someone sent me something beautiful.”
“Is that right? What kind of something beautiful?”
“Some very stunning flowers. They look like a sunrise.”
“So you like them?”
“I love them. They’re gorgeous. I’m not sure what I did to warrant