beautiful,” I said.
“You’re beautiful,” he said. “You’re stunningly beautiful, Darlene.”
“Thank you, Sawyer,” I said, and my cheeks warmed at the lovely compliment even as my anxiety deepened into a deep blue of sadness for how I was going to ruin the perfection of this night. “I’ll just put them in some water.”
He waited by the door as I scrounged for a vase. A tall drinking glass was all I could find. I put the flowers in it with shaking hands and grabbed my black coat. Sawyer helped me into it.
“Where are we going?” I asked in a small voice, as we headed down the stairs.
“A restaurant called Nopa,” he said, his own voice sounding thick. “Jackson said it’s a good one.”
At the bottom of the stairs, in the entry of the house, Sawyer’s hand snaked out to grab mine. He pulled me close, and his hands slipped around my waist. I melted against him as he hauled me in for a deep kiss. His tongue slid against mine, then swept through my mouth. I clung to him, the clean taste of him, the scent of his masculine cologne, the softness of his lips, the intense want that coiled in his muscles under my hands…they all bombarded my senses and threatened to melt me into a puddle at his feet.
“The kiss is supposed to come at the end of the date, but I can’t help myself,” he said, his voice gruff, his eyes dark and so beautiful in the dim light.
“You don’t have to stop,” I whispered, kissing him again. “We don’t have to go out. We can stay here. Go upstairs and…”
Not say a word.
“God, you have no idea how badly I want that.” He kissed my neck, my cheek, just under my ear. He pinned me to the wall with his body and my hips adjusted to him on their own so that he fit so perfectly against me. His erection brushed me between my legs.
“Or maybe you have some idea…” he said hoarsely.
I pressed my body into his as his hand slid up my thigh, to the lacy thong I wore beneath the dress. One more moment, one more touch and he would take me upstairs, and it would be too late to tell him. I wouldn’t have to. It would be so easy…
“Jesus,” Sawyer whispered. He backed off so that the only place we touched was his forehead pressed to mine, and his hands on my hips, bracing himself. “Okay, wait,” he said. “I want to take you out. I’m going to take you out.” He grinned sheepishly. “Just give me a minute.”
My heart ached at that grin, one that I don’t think many people saw. He was so serious, so stressed, all the time. But with me he smiled and made jokes and let himself be a little bit vulnerable.
And once I told him what I’d done, it would all go away.
I took his handsome face in my hands. “Do you ever wish you could take a moment and keep it forever? Like right now…how you taste on my mouth, and your hands on me, and your eyes…God, Sawyer, the way you’re looking at me… If I could have just one moment, one feeling, and live in it forever, I would choose this one.”
Sawyer’s brows came together, his smile tilting. “No one’s ever said anything to me like that before.” His hands came up to take mine. “But you look...sad. Is everything okay?”
The words came to my lips and I nearly let them out. I drew in a breath…and let that out instead.
“Yes, sure. Sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I’m hungry, I guess. We can go. We should go.”
Sawyer held the door for me, and I walked down to the street, wishing for San Francisco’s allegedly famous cold wind to slap some sense into me. But the heat wave was lingering long enough that I hardly needed my coat.
“The restaurant isn’t far,” he said. “We could walk or Uber. Up to you.”
“Let’s walk,” I said. Maybe, I thought, if I kept moving my body, I could work out the nerves and be able to talk. “So…where is Olivia tonight?”
“Jackson took her over to Henrietta’s,” Sawyer said. “Olivia knows her. Before I moved to the old Vic and was blessed with the miracle of Elena, Henrietta did all my babysitting.”
“Have you lived in the Victorian long?”
“Almost a year now. When Olivia’s mom left her with me, I had to move there.”
“Why?
“Jackson and I, and