exactly how cruel it can be. And that was just from family. It’s never easy. But, you know, this is different.”
I try to even my breathing in an effort to hear them better.
“How so?” Baya asks the question for me. I’m starting to like her better by the minute. And why is Laney so narrow-minded all of a sudden?
“Izzy is—” she gives an exasperated sigh—“I don’t know. She’s just always been a little different.”
What? I’m not different. Am I different?
“Well, not always”—Laney continues—“but for a while now.” My stomach bites with heat because suddenly I know where this is going. “It’s like the entire world has her paranoid. It’s as if she’s afraid to admit she’s got some deep-seated psychological issues. She’s been skittish around guys for as long as I can remember, so it doesn’t surprise me she’s not in a normal relationship.”
Just wow.
I bust through the stall, and both Laney and Baya look as if they’ve seen a ghost.
“Excuse me.” I huff an incredulous laugh. “But I’d hate to hide out in a bathroom stall and exhibit any more of my deep-seated psychosis.”
“Izzy, I’m so sorry!” Laney steps into me, and tries to take hold of my arm, but I move out of the way. “Look, I didn’t mean any of that.”
“Yes, you did. You meant every word.”
“For the record”—Baya raises her hands in the air as if this were a stick up—“I swear to you, I think what you and Holt have is totally fine. In fact, my mom will be in town in a few days, and I really think you should talk to her. She loved my father. She would be your biggest cheerleader.”
“Yeah, well, too bad my sister won’t be making the team.” I speed toward the exit just as that sassy pigtail-wearing witch from the table makes her way in, and I jam my shoulder into hers on the way out. I may or may not have meant to do that. I can’t decide if it was a happy accident or if I finally grew some balls.
“Watch it!” Her friend barks in my direction.
“Never mind,” Pigtails shouts. “She can’t see well. She’s old.”
I can still hear their cackles as I dive into the crowd and try to lose myself in the congestion of bodies. The music is so loud my head pounds with its annoying hammer-like backbeat.
“Izzy.” Laney pulls me in by the arm. “I swear to you, I’m sorry.” Her features crumble as if she’s about to cry. “I didn’t mean any of it. It just bubbled out of me like verbal diarrhea. Please, can we just forget this ever happened?”
“No, because it did happen. And stop saying you didn’t mean it.” I bite the air with my words. “You were right. I am a freak. And you want to know why? Because I’ve been too busy protecting you! I wanted you to grow up without any of the bull crap I had to deal with. I wanted you to have a healthy, happy life. You’re the reason I’ve stayed in that crappy house all along. I didn’t go to college, Laney, because I stayed home to watch out for you. So next time, instead of telling the world what a nutcase I am, how about just saying thank you!” I bolt deeper into the bar.
Okay, so I may have left my mother from the equation temporarily as to why I’ve hung out at home for so long, but for the most part every word is true.
I thread through a thicket of bodies. I just want to find Holt and get the hell out of here. I want to head to his place and not come out for weeks.
An odd sight snags my eye. I spot Holt facing the other way while a tiny little hand slithers up and down his back.
What the…?
A bleached barfly hacks out a laugh while her hands continue to ride up and down his body.
Crap.
He gingerly plucks her off, but it’s too late, I’m too far gone. My sanity has already plunged off a cliff. I’m swan diving into the rocks below, and there’s no parachute, no one around to stop me from what I’m about to do next.
“Izzy.” He steps back, his face darkening as if he were embarrassed.
“No—I get it.” I close my eyes for a moment. “You’re attractive, and look at her—she’s beautiful.” I swallow hard while examining the bimbo who was molesting the hell out of my boyfriend a moment ago. Boyfriend. What