on the spot with the camera pointed right at us again.
“Congratulations!” I sing into the small rectangle. “I wish you many happy years. You deserve it—all of you.”
“Ditto,” Holt snarls at his buddy and tells him to take off by way of hitching his head.
“What’s the matter, Holty boy? You a little tongue tied?” Cole breaks out in a wicked grin. It’s obvious he’s enjoying the hell out of this. “I tell you what. I’m about to turn on the kiss cam for the night. Why don’t you two kick us off?”
“No thanks.” Holt pushes the camera away, but it’s becoming quickly obvious Cole is committed to the cause. “Listen up, everybody! Any couple willing to smooch for the kiss cam tonight gets a drink on the house.”
“That’s coming out of your tips.” Holt tries to turn us away from his friend’s digital wrath, but Cole is stealth and right back in our face with his cell phone.
“First couple of the night,” he bellows. “Will they or won’t they?”
Oh crap. My heart seizes. My muscles cramp up. My entire body pulsates with a heartbeat of its own.
Slowly the bodies on the dance floor come to a stop, and, before I know it, half the bar is focused in on us.
“You in, kitten?” Holt looks sorry for me, hurt that I’d have to be subject to this at all.
I nod just once as if it were all my body could afford—probably is.
Holt leans in and whispers, “You don’t have to do this. I own the bar. You can have any drink any time.” He gives my hand a gentle squeeze, reassuring me of my newly minted booze on command status.
“Maybe I want to earn my drink like everybody else.” Did those words just come out of my mouth? “I mean, you did say you’d be willing to teach me everything,” I whisper. “I’m in.”
It’s as if a flare just went off straight through my skull, blowing out every self-imposed sanction I’ve ever given myself. A shiver rails through me, shaving me down to the bone at the prospect of kissing Holt right here in front of everyone. It feels dreamlike, like something that borders a nightmare, and you’re not sure what direction it’ll take.
My heart bangs in my chest as if it’s trying to tap out. The floor starts to sway all on its own. There’ve been a few boys who have tried to sneak in a kiss over the years. Of course, each one of those episodes ended with me bolting. My legs start to shift as if preparing for the sprint to my car. I hike my shoulder up without thinking—affirming the fact I’ve still got my purse with me. I can always make up some lame excuse if my feet decide to carry me to the parking lot. It’s worked before.
The crowd breaks out in a chant of kiss, kiss, kiss, and I can feel our heads magnetizing toward one another. Here it is. A moment I thought I never wanted, and yet, all of a sudden, I don’t think I can live without.
My heart leaps into my throat, thrashing around like a fish out of water. My body explodes with the heat of a nuclear explosion. Holt’s lids grow heavy until finally they close. He comes in until our lips brush over one another soft as melted butter, and a spasm of heat rips through me from head to toe.
An audible moan gets trapped in my chest as I lean in for more. Holt meets me right there as his lips move slowly over mine, warm, so incredibly cushioned. The crowd with their wild cheers—the music—the bar, it all fades to nothing as Holt gently pulls his lips over mine. Then the unthinkable happens. My mouth falls open, and I let him in. His teeth clash with mine. His tongue comes to me with a gentle sweep at first then an all out aggression as it mingles with mine. My stomach explodes with a thousand butterflies with wings of fire, and the flames sear right down to my feet.
This is my moment—our moment, and I wish nothing more than for the dance floor to swallow us whole so we can be alone, doing just this, surrendering to one another for the rest of time immemorial. Holt and I are teetering on my own personal oblivion, staring down each one of my demons in the face. This, right here, is where the old me ends and the new