why.
I head to the Black Bear in hopes my favorite inadvertent waitress is working the tables, and as soon as I spot Serena my entire body relaxes for the first time in days.
“Lex!” She skips over and rings me with a hug. “I’m due for a fifteen-minute break, and I’m taking it with you. Find a table and I’ll head over and let Holt know.” She wrinkles her nose. “He’s the cute owner.”
“Stay away from cute owners,” I call after her.
“Relax. He’s married!” she cries through a laugh.
Married. Meh. I growl at the entire establishment as I find a dark booth near the back—same spot I sat in six years ago. So much went wrong from there. Honestly, how much worse can it get?
Serena skips back—an annoying habit I have never been able to break her of—and falls in the seat across from me. That vanilla musk cologne of hers warms the distance between us with every sweet memory we’ve ever shared. Sort of the way Axel’s cologne did earlier. My face fills with heat, and I take a quick swig of the water Serena brought back with her.
“Are you blushing?”
“No, I’m internally bleeding.” I sneer. “I’m here to apologize. That’s not easy for me, but I owe you one and you’re going to get it.” I pull my lips into a smile. “I’m sorry. It’s your life, and if you think cavorting with boys for the next four years fits with your scholastic goals, alongside of holing up in a bar most nights, then who am I to stop you?”
All signs of elation she previously held trickle off her face. “You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what?”
“That thing where you pretend everything is fine, but it’s really not.” She gives me a slight kick from under the table. “And it really ticks me off. By the way, you’re lousy at apologies.”
My mouth falls open. An entire litany of words struggle to come to my defense, but they can’t seem to make it past my vocal cords.
“I love you.” There. My entire body sags with relief. “If I’m hard on you, it’s because I want to protect you. Our mother may have chosen not to, but I choose to do so.” It comes out a little too caustic. “It’s the truth.”
Serena drops her face into her hands. “I get it. I really do. But what you don’t get is that I need some room to breathe.” Her entire person recoils as if I’ve offended her. “I’m your sister, not your daughter. And—I want to be your friend.” She softens, reaching over and taking up my hand. That small gesture, those foreign words, spark something in my chest that dare I say feels like my heart slowly ticking back to life.
“My friend, huh?” I clasp both of my hands around hers. “I’m in.” We share a quiet laugh as if the territory set out before us was destined to be a joyous one. Here’s hoping, but I can’t be sure. It’s all still too new for me. “But I still want you to weigh my opinion heavily. I’m only looking out for you. I would never impose anything on you to torment you.”
She gives a wry smile. “Not even the ban on boys?”
“Maybe that, but you’ve lifted that decree yourself. See? You’re already wielding your newfound power. Be careful with it, though. With much power comes much responsibility. Use your head, not your heart.” Something pinches in my chest when I say it. “Okay, listen to your heart on occasion, too—but do us both a favor and keep yourself chaste. The last thing you want the boys of Hollow Brook thinking is that you’re easy.”
“Oh, I’m hard to get.” She lifts a brow. “But something tells me not as hard as you.” A waitress struts by, and Serena leans in. “I’d better get back to work. How about we get together later this week for another friendly chat? This time you can tell me all about your heart and where it stands with the opposite gender. I’ve been curious about that for years. Whatever that boy did to you it must have stung like hell.” She winces. “Don’t shoot me. Those kinds of words have a way of slipping out on occasion when I’m passionate about something. And I happen to be passionate about you.” She leans over the table and offers me a strong hug. “Let me clock back in and I’ll take your order.” She takes off, and no sooner does