the act warms me. “We’re your friends, Lex. Whatever happened once Marlin left, we’ll support you no matter what.”
“I’ll kill Axel if he hurt you,” Low offers quickly as if it were a given. “Actually, I’ll probably have Levi do it since death can get messy. Plus, he’s known him longer and can really cut to his weakness.”
“His weakness.” A dull laugh dies in my chest. “I suppose that would be me.” I give a guilty shrug just before segueing into the fact that I dumped Axel all over again before stomping out of his penthouse this afternoon.
“Oh, Lex.” Low drops her head in her hands, and her dirty blonde curls spill over the bed. “That boy loves you, and you love him. I’m sorry, but I’m calling it like I see it. Why the heck wouldn’t you want to have everything with him?”
Raven wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Because that’s what she does—she pushes people away.” She tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. And in the first time in forever it feels as if someone understands me completely.
I look over at her. Raven has a sweetness about her that reminds me of both Serena and Sunday on a painful level. I already have two girls to look after. I don’t need yet another set. And that’s when it hits me. Raven doesn’t need me to look after her. She’s a grown woman. Raven is simply being—dare I say, a friend? I glance to Low as the same realization hits. Raven and Low are truly there for me. Not as family—as friends. It feels unforgivably strange, and yet it feels right.
I take a deep breath as if I were about to dive belly first into ice-cold waters. “She’s right. I push people away.” A hot tear rolls down my cheek and it feels good, as if I’ve finally lanced a blister that’s been tormenting me for the last decade or so of my life.
Raven lays her head on my shoulder, and her dark hair spills between us like shards of black glass. “It’s because your mother left you. How could you possibly trust another adult? Let alone another human being.”
I give a hard sniff, nodding, suddenly unable to speak at all. It’s as if Raven knows me better than I know myself.
Low grunts as if she were kicked in the gut. “And you mentioned to me a few months back about your father passing. You had to do it all—be both mother and father to your siblings. Not to mention your aunt’s kids.” I filled Low in on my sordid family history a few months ago while she was temporarily separated from Levi. It was the night I kissed him, but we don’t talk about that anymore.
“You put up a wall.” Raven nods knowingly. “To protect yourself. If you’re not in charge—well, neither is anyone else.”
“Yes.” I sit up with the epiphany. “I mean, I’ve always known it deep down inside, but just hearing it like this—it really paints a picture.”
Low scoots in close to me and wraps her arms around my waist. “And that’s why you pushed Axel away this afternoon. He was getting too close to home, wasn’t he?”
“He was.” The words come out smaller than a whisper. The truth is, Axel had infiltrated the deepest part of me both physically and emotionally. He did years ago, and I’ve never been able to fully evict him.
“Let him in.” Raven glides her arms around me as well, and it feels nice being wrapped in a hug from both Raven and Low. Especially now when I need it most. “Let him love you.”
Low chuckles. “Heck, that boy wants to worship you.”
Raven leans in with those intense sea blue eyes. “Do you love him?”
“Of course.” My fingers tap over my lips. “Oh my God, I do. I didn’t even have to think about it.”
“You never stopped.” Low scolds with her finger, and the three of us share a quiet laugh.
“I didn’t, did I?” It feels as if a freight train just smacked into my face. “I have never stopped loving Axel Collins. I love him still. I love him so much it hurts to think of all the agony I’ve put us through.” Tears buck through me as both Raven and Low join in on the cryingfest.
“So now what?” Low hiccups into my ear.
“First thing tomorrow, I’ll head over to The Pelican and tell him how I feel.”
“First thing tomorrow?” Raven is protesting the idea simply with