them to forgive one another so that we could get our family back on track. Look, I don’t have anything against Mom and her new husband. I think they work great, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wish it had worked out for her and Dad in the end. I judged them. I judged our parents. I thought they were quitters for giving up so easily—and believe me, in hindsight I see it wasn’t easy for them. But I thought if that was me—my wife—we would make it work. I would never quit. I would be there no matter what. I wasn’t about to let any of my relationships dissolve to nothing and chalk it all up to lessons learned, wasted time. Nope. I was going to be some hardcore relationship junkie who, come hell or high water, was not going to let life sink us.”
Rex leans back, a pained smile on his face. “And how did that work out for you?”
“Landed me in a pile of crap.” I pause mid-thought. “I take that back. It was the best thing I ever did in my life.”
“Dude”—he winces—“she left you. You were cheated on. I get that you grew from the experience—but around me, you don’t have to embrace the fire. You were burned. I understand that.”
“I’m not embracing the fire. What Jen did sucked. What I am embracing is the fact it’s the road that led me to Harper.” I sink my face in my hand a moment before coming up for air. “Harper is the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. She’s more or less me in female skin. I never thought it was possible for two people to get along so well—you know, outside of family. And if I’m honest, Harper feels like family. In a lot of ways, I feel closer to Harper than I do Trix. But don’t tell Trix that. I’m not in the mood for another beatdown. This entire summer has been one beatdown after the next.”
“Sounds like it. So, if Harper is great, then what’s the problem? Is it because she’s not at practice watching you from the sidelines?” He gives a faint smile. “You need to let go for a few hours each day to get crap done. She’ll still be waiting for you when the day is over.”
“No, it’s not that.” A dull laugh escapes me. If only it was that. “Harper and I sort of got in an argument the other night. She took off with her brother and sister. Lucky says she went home, but wouldn’t tell me where home was. I finally got it out of Lawson yesterday. I made three trips out, but the fort her mother owns is impenetrable. I don’t know what to do short of sitting in the driveway. She may not come out for the rest of the summer.”
“And in the meantime, you self-destruct. So, what really happened? How did this dream girl of yours get so ticked she doesn’t want to speak with you? And more important, if the shoe were on the other foot, would you want to speak with you?”
“No, I wouldn’t.” I didn’t even need a minute to think about that one. “I’ll be honest, I’m not ready to talk about it. I’m in deep crap. I’ve got myself in one hot mess, and I can’t for the life of me find the exit.”
“Does any of this have to do with Janelle?” Rex asks softly as if with kid gloves. Rex has known Jen as long as I have. He knew how deep in I was, or at least I thought I was.
“It has everything to do with her. And”—a wave of nausea mixed with guilt washes over me for a moment—“I’m not ready to go there with you.” It’s still too fresh, too damn unbelievable. Once I say it out loud, it will become real, and real is one thing I’m not ready for.
“Fair enough.” He squints out onto the field and watches the guys wrestle until they land in a heap at the twenty-yard line. “Look, I don’t want to say anything negative about your ex—especially in the event you get back together—but just know that sometimes things aren’t what they seem. Sometimes people get desperate. If Jen’s trying to reel you back in, just know she’s running on empty, as frantic as they get. People get downright dangerous if they think they’re about to lose what they really want.