shudder goes through me at the thought of what could’ve happened to him.
Since I left Dr Khan’s office, my heart has been hollow. I’ve been on the verge of a breakdown.
I wanted to go to Birmingham and stand on my parents’ grave and shout at them.
I wanted to kick their dead bodies and tell them to give me back my life.
But that would be useless. No one will give me back what was already stolen.
Just like nothing will bring back what Aiden has already lost.
My heart aches the more he touches me, but I don’t want him to stop. I never want him to stop even if I’m in pain.
Even if I bleed open.
It took me ten years to remember and I don’t even remember everything.
He’s been living with this pain for a decade.
He’s been seeing my face for two years and recalling what Ma did to him.
No wonder he looked at me like he hated me. No wonder he wanted to destroy me.
What Jonathan said makes sense now. My parents did kill Alicia, although indirectly.
She was on her way to search for Aiden after he was kidnapped, but she had an accident and never saw him again.
Aiden lost his mother.
And it’s all because of Ma and Dad.
My breathing deepens and it takes everything in me not to break down in tears.
How could I tell him I loved him yesterday? How could I say that to someone who suffered every time he saw my face?
What the hell is wrong with me?
I focus on the little drawings on my back. It’s like he’s repeating the same pattern over and over again.
Wait. Is that…?
Steel.
He’s writing and re-writing my last name on my back. Is that what he’s been writing all this time?
Tears rush to my eyes and I close them, biting my lower lip.
He releases me and I remain in place, slightly hiding my head in the sheets.
Aiden’s heat leaves my back. The mattress moves as he stands.
“Come on, sweetheart. Wake up,” his voice is wide awake as if he didn’t sleep the entire night — and maybe he didn’t.
I slowly peel my head from the sheets and turn to face him.
He’s smiling down at me with a warm spark. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. A thousand words and apologies fight to be set free, but I have nothing to say.
How could he wish me a happy birthday after everything?
Hell. Even I forgot that it’s my birthday.
“Meet me downstairs.”
He doesn’t wait before he walks out of the door.
I watch him with a crushing ache in my chest.
It’s too much.
This pain. This burn.
I place a hand over my scar and dig my nails into the flesh.
It hurts, dammit.
Why did it have to be like this?
After freshening up, I take the steps downstairs slowly as if I’m afraid something will jump me.
I find Aiden putting on his jacket. Upon seeing me, he yanks another Elites Jacket from the sofa and drapes it over my shoulders. The thing swallows me whole, but it smells like him. Clean and warm.
He pulls my band and ruffles my hair, letting it fall loose on either side of my shoulders.
“Hmm. My number looks good on you, sweetheart.” He tilts his head to the side. “But you know what will be better? If you wore it to watch one of my games.”
I stare at him, not knowing what to say. Is he pretending that everything is okay?
No idea how he does that. It must be because of his freedom and assertiveness.
For today, just today, I also want to be free, too. I want to pretend that everything is okay and I’m with Aiden despite the darkness from the past.
It’s my birthday after all.
I grin up at him. “I’m still not persuaded.”
“I’ll come up with something.” He interlaces his hand in mine. “Come on.”
He picks up a large food container and then we’re out of the house through the back door.
His hand is still wrapped around mine as we walk through the trees surrounding the house. It’s a forest, basically.
The entire way, I watch my smaller hand in his bigger one and I can’t help thinking how safe it feels to be with him.
Like in that basement.
Although it was dark and smelled awful, our breathing calmed down the moment we touched each other.
His face appears normal as if yesterday didn’t happen.
We come to a stop in front of a lake with a deck and a few old boats in sight.
My gaze bounces between him and the lake