a pawn in mine. Yes, she didn’t have a choice to be dropped on my side of the chessboard.
But what she wouldn’t understand is that being my pawn is much fucking better than being Jonathan’s.
I don’t want to hurt her — not in that sense.
But Jonathan?
Jonathan would set her on fire and watch as she turned to ashes.
Elsa is lucky.
She’s damn lucky that she got under my skin and became an inseparable part of my being.
If I didn’t know better, I would even suspect that she had me hooked on her to save herself.
“You have one more chance to change your mind.” Jonathan raises an eyebrow. “Seize it.”
He doesn’t offer second chances, so the fact that he’s going out of his way says a lot.
Not that it matters anymore.
I already chose my side.
And it’s not his.
I slam my king at the head of the board. “The game starts with two kings, Jonathan.”
He hits my queen with his king. “But it ends with only one.”
I stand up, but not before straightening my queen. He won’t be bringing her down.
Not on my watch.
My phone dings with a text.
Knight: Nash ran his mouth about the kidnapping to Elsa. She asked me to take her to her shrink. I’m in the waiting room.
My grip tightens around the phone.
Fucking Nash.
I’m going to fuck him up.
I pull up Queens’ number and type.
Aiden: Nash fucked Johansson from the track team.
The reply is immediate.
Queens: What the fuck?
Aiden: I thought you should know.
I smile on my way to the door. That will teach him to stop fucking around with me.
If he wants a war, then a war is what he’ll get.
“She’s Steel, Aiden. Destruction is in their blood,” Jonathan calls after me.
I stop, but don’t turn around. “And ours.”
“Do you think she’ll still love you after she remembers your monstrous past?”
My left eye twitches, but I wait for it to subside as I spin around to face him. “Alicia loved you even after knowing you’re a monster.”
His face falls as he drops his own queen. The sound of the chess piece hitting the board echoes in the silent office. “We both know how that ended up for her.”
37
Elsa
Sweat covers my limbs and beads on my forehead.
My breathing comes out rugged and out of control.
The leather creaks underneath me.
It’s too dark behind my closed eyes.
“Do you see the steps?” Dr Khan asks from across from me.
“It’s those same dark stairs. There’s an old wooden door in view. It looks like something you see in those World War Two films or something.”
“Go on,” he urges.
My shoulders snap upright, but I don’t stop to focus on the fear.
Fear is temporary in front of my thirst for the truth.
Now more than ever, I need to know what’s in that basement.
I told Dr Khan that I’m not blocking myself anymore. That this time, I’ll remember.
I’ll remember Eli and my parents.
I’ll remember everything.
My breathing slows as I take the steps down.
The light becomes dimmer with each step I take. The shadows darken, forming a black fog around me.
I can feel those monsters whispering on my skin and clawing at my back.
Return where you came from.
You don’t belong here.
No. This is my home and exactly where I belong.
With a deep shaky breath, I keep going. All I focus on is the old basement door.
There’s something important there.
Something like the truth.
Don’t they say the truth sets you free?
“Slowing down and shutting down,” Dr Khan’s voice lowers in volume. “Slowing down and shutting down. Slowing down and shutting down… shutting down completely.”
* * *
I stand in front of the door, only it’s not me. I bring my hands up to my face and they’re small, little hands. My feet and body are also small. The top of my head barely reaches the handle.
The seven year-old version of me.
The one who erased everything.
Keys dangle from my right hand and a small lamp from the other.
I stole them keys from Ma.
She put on red lipstick and went to bed, so she won’t be coming here.
The keys jingle and my breathing trembles with it.
This is the first time I steal them keys from Ma. She’ll be mad, but I’ll give her a red rose so she stops being mad.
I glue my ear to the door.
It’s here again. The whimpering.
Hmmm.
Hmmm…
Hmm...Hmm...
Pain slashes through my heart like them monsters are squeezing it.
Since the one who shall not be named went to heaven, I hear them voices like this in the basement.
Dad told me to never come back here again.
Uncle Reg told me it’s for