he asks without sparing me a glance.
“Alicia’s birthday.”
“Happy birthday.” His tone is emotionless, cold even. “You would’ve been forty today.”
I grind my jaw but say nothing.
“Alicia died here,” he repeats the piece of information as if I don’t know it.
His voice is still detached, but his eyes say something entirely different.
There’s a softening in there.
Something I never see him offer anyone. Not even Lev and I whom he considers his legacy.
I face the tree again, not wanting to see that expression.
Jonathan is probably playing one of his tricks and I won’t fall for it.
“She died trying to find you,” he continues, plunging the knife deeper. “She died without seeing your face. Four hours, Aiden. She remained in pain for four fucking hours.”
“Are you getting to a point any time soon?”
He rips his gaze from the tree as if it pains him. “Have some fucking respect to your mother and quit playing house with Steel.”
“I’m not playing house. I’m —”
“Enough.” His voice is cold and unnegotiable. “End it. I want it to be humiliating and painful so she’ll come into her power as a shell.”
My left eye twitches, but I ask in a calm tone. “What if she never becomes a shell?”
He’s a fool if he thinks he’ll be able to break Elsa.
She’s the strongest person I know.
But just because he can’t break her, doesn’t mean he can’t hurt her.
“Let me worry about that. You only need to do your part of the deal, Aiden.”
Silence falls down between us as we stare at each other with identical eyes. “Or what?”
He approaches me so he’s looking down on me. “When I say end it. You fucking end it, do you hear me?”
I meet his harshness with mine. “Or what, Jonathan?”
“Or I’ll end it myself.” He throws one last glance at the tree as if he can see Alicia’s ghost and heads to the car. “You have until tomorrow.”
Fuck him and his tactics.
As long as I’m around, no one will hurt Elsa.
Jonathan included.
As soon as the car door slams shut, I briefly close my eyes and face the tree.
“Maybe you’re right, Alicia. Maybe I shouldn’t have been born, huh?”
32
Elsa
Aiden doesn’t text me back.
I stay up all night, trying to do homework, but all I do is watch my phone like a maniac.
Chaotic thoughts barge into my mind all at once, and none of them are good.
I hated that he went with his father. However, when he texted me in his usual crude way as soon as he got into the car, I thought things were okay.
Maybe they’re not.
Earlier, Uncle came to check on me before he went to bed. I didn’t miss how he barely made eye contact. His dark circles were more prominent like he hasn’t slept in days.
The possibility of being the reason behind that crushes me.
I haven’t seen Aunt since overhearing that conversation, and it’s for the best.
I still don’t know how to act around them just yet.
With a groan, I push off the desk and throw my body on the bed. It’s useless to study when I’ve been reading the same paragraph for hours.
I pull up Aiden’s number.
Elsa: Are you okay?
I bite my lip, waiting for him to see it.
Nothing.
Damn it.
I throw the phone under the pillow and close my eyes.
Everything will be fine in the morning.
* * *
A small hand surrounds my smaller one.
The one who shall not be named?
I glimpse up at him, his pretty trousers and shoes. His tousled black hair that falls on his forehead like silk.
He smiles down at me with a twinkle in his dark eyes.
His smile is like the sun.
Rare, but blinding.
I love his smile. It makes me feel safe.
Why am I not as pretty as he is?
I’m the girl, right? I should be prettier than the one who shall not be named.
“Can I say your name now?”
He places a forefinger in front of his mouth. “Shh.”
“Shh,” I repeat, tears filling my eyes. “Ma doesn’t like it.”
He grips my hand harder and leads me to the back garden. Bushes grow on either side of us like walls.
Dad doesn’t like it when I come here.
“Them monsters are here,” I tell the one who shall not be named.
“Shh,” he motions at the house.
Ma stands near the window, doing her red lipstick.
“Dad doesn’t like it,” I say, shrinking behind him.
The one who shall not be named fastens his pace. I jog along, watching his hand around mine.
It’s familiar.
It’s safe.
It’s… happy.
“I miss you.” My voice trembles. “It’s lonely without you. Ma goes to them monsters sometimes.”
“Shh.”