at each object while Kendall either moves them or squeezes them to make noise. He’s fascinated.
Needing to be closer to them, I lie on the floor behind Kendall, sliding in close and pressing my body next to hers. I hold myself up with one arm while the other rests on her hip.
“Cuteness overload,” she says when my boy smiles up at the bear that crackles every time she touches it.
Not able to help myself, I kiss her shoulder. “I’m sorry about today, with Stephanie.”
“Not your fault.”
“It is. I was kind of dating her when Knox was born.”
She looks over her shoulder at me, and her face has this ‘are you kidding me’ expression.
“It was a bet,” I ramble on, and then feel her stiffen. “Let me explain, please.”
She nods, but continues to stare down at my son. I tell her how the bet came about, how Stephanie was never my match, and admit that I was with her for the wrong reasons. I tell her about the day Knox was born, how Stephanie showed up at the hospital and started spewing shit about not wanting to be a fill-in. I tell her how I ended it right then and haven’t thought about her since. “I know how it sounds, and I’m sure you don’t think too highly of me right now.”
She’s quiet and lays her head down, using her arm as a pillow, resting her other hand on Knox’s belly. I remain silent, giving her the time she needs to process everything I’ve just told her. She’s still here in my arms, so that gives me hope.
“I would’ve never expected that from you. The way you are with Knox, the way you are with me . . . I’m having a hard time seeing you as the guy who plays with someone’s emotions for a simple bet.”
She’s right. “It was wrong. I realize that now. I was so caught up in just taking the bet that I didn’t think about how it would end.”
“And the guys. I’m just . . . disappointed, really.”
Shit. “We didn’t do it to harm anyone, and Stephanie isn’t without her faults as well. Not that that excuses what I did, of course.”
“Did you win?”
“No. I still had a month to go when Knox was born.”
“So, if Melissa hadn’t been in that accident, if Knox weren’t here, I would’ve never met you? Well, we might have crossed paths, but you would be with her.”
The way she says “with her” tells me she’s not taking this very well.
I lift her hair off her shoulder and rest my chin there. “I would like to think that, no matter what my situation was at the time, when I met you I would’ve still been smart enough to realize you were what I wanted.”
She offers her finger to Knox and he latches on. “So this little guy, not only is he your gift, but he’s mine too.”
I’m not sure what she means, so I wait patiently for her to continue, all the while saying a silent prayer that she doesn’t kick my sorry ass to the curb.
She removes her hand from his grip and turns to look at me. I back up so she has room to lie on her back. Propping myself up on my elbow, I look down at her. I want to kiss her, to tell her she never has to worry about me playing games with her, but I need her to come to that conclusion on her own. No matter how long it takes her to get there, I’ll give her that time. Not having her in our lives is not an option at this point.
I’m too far gone.
“He brought you to me. I was convinced that I was finished with relationships. Cal had left a wound so deep I never thought it would fill.”
Needing to touch her, I trace her jawline with my index finger. She shivers at the contact.
“Knox brought you to me.”
She closes her eyes, and I want to demand that she open them. I can’t get a good read on what she’s thinking, what she’s feeling when those baby blues aren’t looking at me.
When she finally does open them, there’s a sea of emotion staring back at me. “Not only are you filling the wound, you’re healing my soul. I will admit that what you’ve told me about your relationship with Stephanie, it bothers me. However, you’ve never once made me feel like I was any less than everything in your