I wouldn’t be able to sleep either. Realizing its time to burp, I carefully pull the bottle from her mouth and lift her to my shoulder. She’s not impressed and starts to cry. I begin to sing “Just a Kiss” again, and as soon as I do, I realize my mistake. Evan’s hearing every word. Lexi instantly calms, so I continue to sing until she finally burps and I’m able to continue feeding her.
Nothing like just throwing it out there.
Evan and I are quiet as we both watch his precious little girl eat. She finishes quickly and her little body sighs with satisfaction this time when I remove the bottle from her mouth. Placing her on my shoulder, I rub her back. Evan stands and grabs the bottle from the table and disappears.
After about five minutes of rubbing her back, she gives me what I’m waiting for. I settle her back in her bed and whisper, “Sweet dreams.” Evan is standing in the doorway, arms and legs crossed, shoulder leaning against the frame. His eyes capture mine as I move toward him. When I reach him, he stands to his full height and holds out his hand. I slip mine in his and allow him to lead me back to his room. A protest is on the tip of my tongue, because that’s what I think I should do, not what I want.
He stops when we reach his bed, pulls back the covers, and looks at me. “McKinley.” My name falls from his lips, sounding like a plea. I know what he wants, and it scares me how much I want it too. I climb into bed and settle on the opposite side, the same side I slept on earlier. Evan climbs in behind me, pressing his front to my back, and pulls me into his arms.
My body instantly relaxes into his hold.
I don’t move or speak. I’m too busy memorizing what it feels like to be here with him, like this.
Our breathing slows to a matched, even rhythm and, surprisingly, sleep starts to claim me. That is until I hear his whispered words, “It was more than just a kiss.”
I want to ask him what he means. What was it to him? Why is he holding me? What are we doing? Instead, I lie there in his arms, his soft breaths against my neck, and drift off to dream of more than just a kiss.
Chapter 27
Evan
She’s more than just a kiss. I want more than anything to tell her how my feelings for her have changed. Tell her how I think about her all the damn time and how, anytime something happens, she’s the first person I want to tell. I want to bare my soul to her, but I won’t. She needs more than what I can offer her. I’m a single dad who is barely hanging on. Without her, I fear I would fail at this daddy gig I have going on. I can’t risk us not working out and losing both of my best friends, just to feel what it’s like to be inside of her.
I lie awake far longer than I should, enjoying the feel of her in my arms. I let my mind wander to what Aaron would think if he knew what I was doing right this minute. If he knew I was holding her tight in my arms. If he knew what I was thinking, I’m sure he would kick my ass. She’s his little sister and my other best friend, and…more. I want her to be a hell of a lot more.
If only things were different.
I place a kiss on her shoulder and allow sleep to claim me, enjoying this moment of falling asleep with her tucked close.
If feels like only minutes pass, when I’m woken by the soft whimpers of my baby girl. Reluctantly, I release the hold I have on Kinley to reach over and turn off the monitor, making a mental note to turn it back on later. I don’t want it to wake her. Slowly, I climb out of bed and make my way toward Lexi. I stop when I reach the door and turn back to look at my bed. McKinley is so peaceful, so fucking beautiful it makes my chest ache, and she’s in my bed. I want to memorize this moment. I want to store it away for all the nights to come when she won’t be here. My feet move on their own