tons of enthusiasm and zero finesse, but he didn’t seem to mind, if the restless motion of his legs and the bucking of his hips was anything to go by. He wanted to be in control, but he needed to realize he couldn’t be in charge of every-damn-thing.
I rolled his balls in my hand as I worked, and he slapped one hand to the countertop like he was counting down to a drum solo while he pulled my hair with the other. It was almost funny, but I didn’t feel like laughing. Instead, I popped off his dick and started jacking him with my hand. “I want inside you.”
Toby tried to focus his gaze on my face, but no matter how much he blinked, he couldn’t seem to get there. “Yeah,” he breathed. “Yeah.”
I uncapped the lube and pushed his legs back so I could see his hole. I worked his dick with one hand while I fingered him with the other, and every time I tagged his prostate, I watched in awe as wave after wave of bliss rolled across his beautiful face.
“Please, Beale,” Toby begged, and fuck, I just wished he could be half as honest in everything else as he was in this. I had deep feelings for this man—for some version of this man—and I didn’t know whether I was falling for the real one or my fantasy.
He wriggled off the counter and dropped to his knees, pulling my shorts down to my ankles. I couldn’t spread my legs far enough to account for our height difference, so I hunched over, grabbing the counter behind his head, and let him suck me fully hard… which took a ridiculously short amount of time. Then Toby grabbed the condom off the counter and rolled it on me.
I kissed him again briefly, then turned him around and pushed his chest to the counter where his back had been. I drizzled more lube over his hole, stretching his rim even further with my thumbs just because I enjoyed the sight so damn much. Toby pushed his ass back against my fingers and made greedy little “hunh hunh” whimpers that went straight to my cock, so I pulled his cheeks apart with two hands and slid my dick along his crease, giving myself the friction I needed.
“C’mon,” Toby said a few seconds later. “Come on, baby, please.”
“Baby” in that pleading voice sent a shiver through my whole body, and I couldn’t wait any longer. I lined myself up with his hole and slowly, slowly pushed inside.
“Yes. Yes. You. This. So good, Beale,” he moaned, spreading his hands out on the counter. He was warm and snug, and my entire body flushed hot as I entered him because I knew exactly what he meant. This—this feeling with this man and no other—was exactly what I wanted. Forever.
“Ah, Toby. Fuck, baby.” I stretched my arms out, too, so my palm fit over the back of his hands. When I threaded our fingers together, Toby curled his hands into fists, locking us tight, and I felt the anger and confusion leach out of me. At least for the moment, we were the only two people on the entire planet who mattered.
I fucked him hard, pistoning my hips, reveling in the earthy slap of flesh on flesh. Every drag of my cock against his prostate made Toby whine, and the knowledge that I was doing that to him, making him lose control, made me feel twelve feet tall. I reached around him and grabbed his poor, neglected dick, jerking him in time to my thrusts.
“Say my name,” I instructed. “Say it.”
“Beale.”
“Again.”
“Beale.”
“Yes, me. Yes, Toby. Fuck. You just don’t know…” I swallowed hard, biting back all the things I couldn’t say, like “please stay with me” and “please make this work” and “I love you.”
“I know,” he groaned, “I fucking know.”
And when he came all over my hand, I thought maybe, possibly, he did, so I followed him over the edge half a minute later, with a shout that rang through the little house.
I pulled out of him gently and dealt with the condom, but Toby hadn’t moved from where he rested cheek-down on the counter. I pulled up my shorts and moved back to drape myself over him again.
“Ah, Toby,” I murmured against that goofy tattoo on his shoulder.
“Oh, Beale,” he sigh-panted, and it sounded sleepy, almost amused.
He pressed a single, lingering kiss to my forearm where it rested on the counter next to his,