to say, “Keep everyone out, LJ,” and for Littlejohn to say, “Already told Trey I would.”
Then Beale slammed the door behind us… and we were alone.
14
Beale
Czarina’s StarCharts for Today:
Virgo, your greatest gifts are your listening ear and your loyal heart. But are you listening to the truth or to your own fears?
What the fuck was I doing?
I’d driven here, absolutely ready to confront Toby and demand answers, forgetting that the place would be littered with volunteers. So I’d tried avoiding him, except that hadn’t worked either, so now all of a sudden I was kissing him like he was oxygen and I was a fire.
His weight in my arms and the smooth, solid heat of him against my chest felt so right it was hard to stop, but I had to. I was angry, when I hardly ever got angry. I couldn’t imagine having sex with someone in this state. It probably wasn’t healthy… right?
I pulled him off my body, which was a little like pulling a remora off a shark, and set him on the tiled floor in the living room, where the two of us stared at each other, panting.
One time, maybe a year ago, at the same flea market where I bought my variscite, I walked by a woman doing Tarot readings, and she’d offered me a single-card draw for free. I’d learned as a kid that some “fortune tellers” would tell you whatever junk you wanted to hear just to get you to spend more for a full reading, but this lady had a vibe about her, a kind of clarity to her aura, so I’d gamely drawn a card.
“Ace of wands.” The woman had frowned, and her earrings had tinkled as she tilted her head like she was trying to see inside mine. “I see new beginnings for you. Passion beyond passion. But remember that when hot passion collides with a cool and patient spirit…” She’d brought her hands together in a loud clap, like booming thunder, and grinned. “Remember that destruction leads to new beginnings, too.”
I’d politely excused myself after that because the woman clearly didn’t know what she was talking about. Passion? Destructive? Me? Never.
Until now.
Toby’s big brown eyes were fever-shiny, his cheeks were flushed pink, his hair was a violent mess, and his lips were bright red. He wore that wary, vulnerable look that had slayed me the first night we met and—shocker—slayed me even now when I felt like he’d played me for a fool.
Fuck, I wanted him so much. I shouldn’t, but I did. And it might destroy me, but I was going to see it through.
Forgetting all about what might be right or healthy, I was on him again in a second, pushing him against the wall across from the little sofa, kneading his ass with both hands, and moaning when he rubbed his half-hard dick against my thigh. I wanted to get closer to him, to feel that completeness one more time before… before whatever happened next.
“Come on,” I muttered, pulling him toward the bathroom. Just that morning, we’d been careful to hide the lube and condoms in Toby’s toiletry case under the sink for the duration of the party, giggling like a pair of kids who didn’t care very much if they got caught. Now, I grabbed the case and practically threw it on the vanity, rifling through it thoughtlessly.
“Hey,” Toby croaked. “Hey, chill. Beale!” He grabbed the case from my hand and frowned at me severely as he removed the things I wanted. “Look, the stuff’s right here, but before we do this, we need to talk. We need to—”
I kissed him again, hard, pouring all my hurt and anger and fear into the kiss, and Toby clutched at my shoulders for a beautiful half second before pushing me away once more.
“Wait,” he panted. “Wait. Look, angry sex is probably enjoyable, and I’m not opposed to giving it a whirl, but I think it would be advisable for me to know why you’re mad at me beforehand.”
I rubbed both hands over my face and forced out a frustrated growl between clenched teeth. Then I turned on my heel and stalked back to the kitchen where I slammed open the refrigerator door and took out a bottle of water.
“Seriously, Goodman, what the actual fuck?” Toby demanded, tossing the lube and condoms on the counter so he could set his hands on his hips.
I downed half the bottle in one go, then slapped the bottle down on the