in the sun. He’d taken off his T-shirt to dry the boat, for reasons I couldn’t fathom, and the sun gleamed off his freckled shoulders as his muscles bunched and rippled. His legs were folded up pretzel-style, like his limbs had never been told that someone so big shouldn’t be that bendy. A little frown played between his eyebrows, and he’d tucked his tongue between his teeth in concentration as he smoothed his hand over the boat, which should have looked dorky but didn’t. As he worked, he hummed a tune.
Okay, so I was lying. He was fucking gorgeous. He was also insanely capable—the kind of guy who could do anything, from animal removal, to yoga, to small watercraft repair, to calming me down with a whispered “you’re alright, you’re fine, I’ve got you” that was almost enough to make me wish that someone did have me. All in all, he was the total package…
If a person were interested in a total package.
Which I wasn’t.
And meanwhile, I’d reacted to this open friendliness by sharing… absolutely nothing at all, because that was my way. No man was an island, except me.
Even when I thought I owed someone.
Even when they’d asked very, very little of me except some minor details of my life and what circumstances had led me to co-opt half the space in the guest room bed.
I bit my lip and shifted the baseball hat lower on my head. I was pretty sure I was allergic to guilt; I fucking hated it.
There were very compelling reasons why I couldn’t share things even if I wanted to, of course. If I spilled my guts to Beale about what had happened at Dive the way I’d been tempted to earlier, I’d be outing Jayd… and somehow this seemed like a way bigger deal now that I knew Beale didn’t just know Jayd Rollins the pop-folk singer, the way most people did, he actually knew Jay Don Rollins the human being behind the persona. He was among the people Jayd should be able to come out to in his own time.
Plus, Beale’s brother had a huge grudge against him, and I didn’t know Rafe well enough to know how he’d use that information when Beale told him, because of course Beale would tell him. Beale might be a mythical unicorn in many ways, but there was no chance he’d keep a secret for me, a total stranger, when he’d specifically said earlier he was loyal to his brothers above anyone.
As for my other secret, my Hagatha secret…
I winced, remembering how Beale’s face had gone weirdly blank when he’d thought I was insulting him.
I wanted to clear the air, but I really couldn’t. Shouldn’t. In ten years, I’d never shared my secret with a soul. Doing so would be like directly handing someone the power to destroy my career, and that was not me being quirkily overdramatic. I had responsibilities. I knew better.
Or maybe I didn’t, because just then, Beale’s tune reached a crescendo, and I realized with a stomach-twisting lurch that he was humming “My Heart Will Go On” from Titanic like an off-key Celine, probably without even realizing it, and it was so sickeningly sweet I started chirping like a fucking canary.
“I write an advice column,” I blurted, apropos of nothing.
Beale’s humming cut off, and I could feel the weight of his stare, even though I closed my eyes and turned my face back to the sky.
“Like Aunt Hagatha? That kind of advice column?”
“Yes. Yes, very much exactly like that.”
“No way! Really?”
“Would I lie about that, precious?” I demanded hotly. “Ask yourself. Is that the kind of sexy, impressive career someone invents?” My face burned from something besides the sun, and I sat up quickly. “Good Lord, is there no shade whatsoever on this island? I’ll be seared. I can feel my organs literally boiling inside my body.”
“You could always get in the water,” Beale said reasonably. “It’s cooler, at least. Or you could hike back into the trees. Just be careful where you step.”
“My choices are drowning or being savaged by some manner of forest beast?” I sniffed and lay back down. “A Hobson’s choice if ever there was one.” I pulled the hat down more firmly.
Beale ignored my whining. “So when you say you write a column very much like Hagatha…”
I swallowed, body tense, and waited for him to ask me outright, not sure whether I could make myself confirm it in so many words. But Beale looked at me